Why I’ll need earplugs to get through Christmas dinner

Lottie is looking forward to spending time with her family this Christmas but says the only way to get through it is to wear earplugs, especially during Christmas dinner.

For the 23-year-old, Christmas can be a particularly difficult time as other people's sounds, chewing, slurping and snorting make her feel extremely uncomfortable.

“I get this feeling of sudden panic, my whole body just tenses up and it feels like I’m in danger and I need to somehow control these noises.”

Lottie has suffered from misophonia since she was 16, and for her it makes the festive season “incredibly overwhelming”.

Misophonia is a decreased tolerance to certain sounds, especially sounds made by other people.

This is surprisingly common in the UK. In 2023 researchers from King's College London and Oxford University found that almost one in five people suffer from it.

Sounds associated with movements of the mouth, throat, or face, as well as things such as chewing, breathing, and repetitive finger tapping, often cause discomfort.

Lottie says: “There are so many different trigger sounds at Christmas and it can cause anxiety and fear.

“My family understands, but I'm very aware that I don't want to make other people feel uncomfortable. It's like a really big battle where you have to sacrifice your own sanity to make sure everyone else is happy.”

So it's easy to understand why the most wonderful time of the year can quickly turn into a nightmare for people with this condition.

Sounds that may seem innocuous or easy to ignore, such as someone sipping a fizzy drink, rustling a roll of wrapping paper, or having a Christmas dinner, can trigger a strong emotional reaction that may even lead to the person avoiding socializing altogether.

Jenna, a 21-year-old student who has struggled with misophonia since she was 10, says her current plan is to put on headphones in order to make it to lunch. On any other day, she would usually isolate herself in another room to avoid causing any noise.

She says her misophonia gets worse around those closest to her, so Christmas is always “difficult”.

“I want to spend time with my family, but it’s hard physically and mentally.

“It's like I have uncontrollable anger that can be awkward, or I feel anxious and immediately start crying, and then it's fight or flight.

“I may sound complicated and dramatic, but it’s hard to explain unless you’ve experienced it yourself.”

If this is a problem you're suffering from, there are a number of different methods you can try to cope with, according to clinical psychologist Dr Jane Gregory, who told BBC Morning Live:

1. Visualize something else: Imagination is key. Try to associate a particular sound that affects you with something completely different. For example, try to imagine that someone's tea party is just a sink with water draining. By doing this, you are trying to teach your brain that the sound affecting you is not harmful.
2. Try a competition: Have fun and turn the annoying noise into a competition with the culprit. For example, if someone crunches loudly, try imitating the sound and crunch loudly. By imitating, instead of feeling like a sound is being forced on you, you become an active participant. And the element of competition should help get your mind off things and focus on it, and make you a little less affected.
3. Create a scenario: Another method is to try to create a little story about why the person making the noise should make that sound. So if someone has been snorting, for example, they may be feeling ill or upset. By doing this you change the meaning of the sound. Although the noise remains the same, your interpretation of it changes from annoying to more neutral towards it.