:quality(85):upscale()/2025/11/24/018/n/1922729/e860e95e6924e99a434806.47237320_.png?ssl=1 "What Is EMDR Therapy? Experts Explain")
“The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” is known for bringing many hot topics to light: soft swinging, dirty soda, and now, EMDR therapy. The latter was spotlighted on the latest season when Mikayla Matthews shared her experience with the mental health treatment. Her goal: heal from childhood sexual abuse, and work through intimacy issues with her husband. But what exactly is EMDR therapy, and how does it actually work?
EMDR is a unique therapeutic approach designed to help people process trauma. It involves bilateral stimulation (more on that later) and can bring up strong emotions. On TV, for instance, Matthews is brought to tears mid-EMDR session, expressing feelings of guilt and confusion. “I have a hard time putting myself back there,” she says, in reference to her past trauma. Ultimately, Matthews decides to take a break from EMDR and try couples therapy instead. But that's not everyone's experience.
Having been through EMDR themself, Popsugar producer Jordan Shalhoub agrees it can feel very intense — but there's also a positive side you might not have seen on “SLOMW.” Ahead, we explain exactly what you might expect from an EMDR session, including firsthand insight from Shalhoub as well as potential benefits, considerations, and advice from mental health professionals.
Experts Featured in This Article:
Elizabeth Fedrick, PhD, LPC, is relationship, intimacy, and mindset Coach, and an EMDR-trained psychotherapist.
Kandace Ledergerber is a licensed professional counselor and certified EMDR therapist.
What Is EMDR Therapy?
EMDR stands for “Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing.” In essence, EMDR therapy is a type of trauma therapy that involves “activating bilateral stimulations of the brain,” says psychotherapist Elizabeth Fedrick, PhD, LPC. Bilateral stimulation is the activation of one side of your brain, then the other, in a repetitive, continuous pattern. This can be done by following your clinician's finger horizontally from side to side while thinking about the traumatic event you're trying to reprocess. However, EMDR can also be facilitated through “visual, auditory, or tactile stimulations,” like tapping or blinking lights, Dr. Fedrick explains.
It might sound a bit unusual, but EMDR actually draws inspiration from REM (rapid eye movement) sleep. “This is the stage of sleep in which you are dreaming, processing life events, and storing memories into long-term memory,” Dr. Fedrick says. All throughout REM sleep, your eyes naturally move back and forth to create bilateral stimulation. EMDR taps into the same physical strategy, but applies it to specific traumatic events. “With EMDR, you choose which event you want to target, and then intentionally focus on this event to work to desensitize the distressing emotions and reprocess the negative beliefs associated with it,” Dr. Fedrick says.
What Does EMDR Therapy Do?
According to EMDR therapist Kandace Ledergerber, EMDR therapy “can help rewire the brain and process unresolved trauma.” Dr. Fedrick adds that it may also help “accelerate the therapeutic process,” noting that in some cases, improvement can be noticed after just one session. Another benefit: in EMDR therapy, it's not necessary for clients to speak openly about their traumatic experiences with their therapist. Ledergerber says this can be helpful to survivors, because trauma can feel difficult (or even impossible) to verbalize.
What Does EMDR Therapy Feel Like?
Going into their first EMDR session, Shalhoub admits they were skeptical, describing themselves as a “chronic intellectualizer” who kept hitting walls in therapy. “I thought I was too self-aware and doomed to remain that way,” they say. “But I absolutely sobbed the first time doing EMDR. And to this day, the only time I cry in therapy is during EMDR sessions.”
On “SLOMW,” viewers watch as an EMDR therapist quickly moves their finger from side to side, asking Matthews to follow with her eyes. This is one example of activating bilateral stimulations, but Shalhoub has used other techniques. “My sessions looked a lot different to Mikayla's,” Shalhoub says. “My therapist and I use headphones and vibrating hand stimulators.” It's difficult to explain exactly what happens afterwards (and of course, everyone will have a different experience), but according to Shalhoub, “It feels like magic.”
While the EMDR process isn't exactly easy, for Shalhoub it's well worth it. “I'm able to tap into thoughts and feelings that typically don't surface otherwise,” they say. “And when topics or triggers come up again [in real life], I do feel a different internal reaction to them.”
How Effective Is EMDR Therapy?
Studies have found EMDR therapy to be effective for a number of different mental health issues. Although it's primarily recommended to treat PTSD, a 2014 review of 24 studies supported EMDR's effectiveness for treating “emotional trauma and other adverse life experiences,” with some of the studies finding EMDR to be “rapid and/or more effective than trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy.”
Other research shows that EMDR is effective in treating depression. A small 2015 study found that out of a group of 16 patients receiving inpatient care for depression, 68 percent showed “full remission” after receiving EMDR therapy. A year later, they also reported fewer depression-related problems and relapses. EMDR may also be an effective treatment for panic disorder, with one 2017 study indicating EMDR was equally as effective as cognitive behavioral therapy.
The EMDR Process
Generally speaking, there are eight different steps in EMDR therapy (although not all steps are repeated each session). These include:
- Treatment planning: First, your therapist will ask you questions and give you questionnaires to learn more about why you're seeking treatment. You'll determine treatment goals and explore ways in which EMDR could be beneficial. “Treatment planning is completed jointly between the client and therapist, to ensure they both have an understanding and are in agreement with treatment goals,” Dr. Fedrick says.
- Preparation: In the preparation phase, your therapist will explain the EMDR process, develop coping mechanisms in case of adverse side effects (more on that below), and give you the opportunity to talk through any questions or concerns. “The preparation phase is important in order for the client and therapist to start to build rapport and trust,” Dr. Fedrick says.
- Assessment: This is when you'll talk about the “target memory” you want to reprocess. This is usually your first traumatic memory or the worst traumatic memory you have, although it's sometimes more appropriate for clients “to process lesser-charged events first,” Ledergerber notes. You and your clinician will talk through key aspects of the event, like images, core beliefs, feelings, and sensations, and your clinician will take a “baseline measurement of the distress of this event,” Dr. Fedrick says. You'll also identify a positive belief you'd rather associate with the memory.
- Desensitization: This is when your therapist will start bilateral stimulation. You can ask your clinician what EMDR technique(s) they typically use for this (visual, auditory, or tactile) and discuss what feels most comfortable for you. Once you start reprocessing, “the target memory will be active in your mind,” Dr. Fedrick says. Your clinician will be there to help you regulate any overwhelming emotions, but otherwise, expect minimal intervention from them during this time.
- Installation: Once you've lowered your emotional distress around the traumatic event, you and your therapist will work to strengthen the positive belief (which you identified in the assessment phase) via bilateral stimulation.
- Body scan: Here, your therapist will ask you to hold the target memory and your positive belief in your mind while mentally scanning your body “to determine if any disturbance remains regarding the target memory,” Dr. Fedrick explains. If you do find some negative feelings or disturbances, your therapist will use bilateral stimulation to help you continue to process it.
- Closure: “The closure phase is imperative because it is when the client returns to a state of emotional regulation and calmness,” Dr. Fedrick says. This phase takes place before the close of every session, even if you haven't completely reprocessed the target memory. Your therapist will help you “contain” the events you processed through grounding techniques, such as recalling a safe space that you and your therapist may have discussed and installed prior to the reprocessing.
- Re-evaluation: The last phase takes place at the beginning of your next EMDR session, Dr. Fedrick says. This is a time for your therapist to check in with you, ask you how you feel about your last session, and assess the level of disturbance around your target memory and how true the new positive beliefs feel to you.
EMDR Therapy Tips
Even if you have an idea of what EMDR therapy will be like, it might still be nerve-wracking to try it for the first time. Here are some important things to remember:
- It's normal to be nervous: “Many clients feel anxious about the thoughts or feelings that might arise during this time,” Dr. Fedrick says. Be open with your clinician about your worries so they can give you resources and help you develop coping mechanisms to manage any emotions that may come up.
- You're completely awake, alert, and in control: EMDR is not hypnosis, and you'll be aware of everything going on during your reprocessing. You absolutely can and should let your clinician know if you want to stop during the reprocessing, Dr. Fedrick says.
- There's no right or wrong way to respond: “I often encourage my clients to stay open-minded throughout this process and to try not to control . . . where their mind goes during the reprocessing,” Dr. Fedrick says. “There isn't anything they have to do ‘correctly' during this time.”
EMDR Therapy Side Effects
While EMDR therapy can be very beneficial for your mental health, there are some possible side effects worth pointing out. According to Dr. Fedrick, these include:
- Increase in disturbing memories or emotions
- Increase in disturbing dreams
- Heightened emotional sensitivity
- Fatigue after EMDR therapy, which can last for several days
- Feeling overwhelmed with emotions during the EMDR process
“All clients have different experiences when it comes to their reactions during and following the EMDR process,” Dr. Fedrick says. Before starting EMDR, your therapist should make sure you have support and resources outside of therapy to help you cope with these potential side effects.
Who Would Benefit From EMDR Therapy?
EMDR therapy is a form of trauma therapy, and Ledergerber notes that it can be helpful “for people who have experienced a wide range of trauma” — including both “big-T trauma” (events like abuse, combat, or natural disasters) and “little-t trauma” (the accumulated effect of “smaller,” less pronounced events).
EMDR therapy isn't only used for dealing with trauma, though. While this approach was originally created to treat post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), it's now also used to treat anxiety, panic attacks, depression, phobias, sleep issues, complicated grief, addictions, and more, Dr. Fedrick says. It can be used for all age groups as well.
Like any type of therapy, though, EMDR isn't for everyone. “Individuals who have a history of dissociation, are pregnant, have pre-existing medical conditions, are in the process of legal proceedings, or lack a positive support system at home should inform their clinician (and medical provider, if needed) prior to starting this process to ensure this is the right approach for their current needs,” Dr. Fedrick says.
If you do decide to try EMDR therapy, know that it may bring up some “charged and disturbing emotions, triggers, and thoughts,” Ledergerber says. “It's paramount to build a trusting relationship with the therapist and feel secure before processing that trauma.” Take your time and find the right therapist for your needs before starting your own EMDR journey.
— Additional reporting by Alexis Jones and Chandler Plante
Maggie Ryan was an assistant editor at PS. A longtime runner and athlete, Maggie has nearly four years of experience covering topics in the wellness space, specializing in fitness, sports, nutrition, and mental health.
Alexis Jones is the senior health and fitness editor at PS. Her passions and areas of expertise include women's health and fitness, mental health, racial and ethnic disparities in healthcare, and chronic conditions. Prior to joining PS, she was the senior editor at Health magazine. Her other bylines can be found at Women's Health, Prevention, Marie Claire, and more.
Chandler Plante (she/her) is a social producer and staff writer for the Health & Fitness team at Popsugar. She has over five years of industry experience, previously working as an editorial assistant for People magazine, a social media manager for Millie magazine, and a contributor for Bustle Digital Group. She has a degree in magazine journalism from Syracuse University and is based in Los Angeles.
