Two in five teens in intimate relationships say they have experienced emotional or physical abuse, including control, pressure, or violence. according to survey in England and Wales.
“It is often during adolescence that children first begin to explore romantic relationships,” the report says. “At their best, they can bring joy and connection and teach important lessons about trust.
“But for too many they are marked by control, pressure or violence – experiences that can undermine a young person’s safety and affect their daily life.”
The online survey, which asked 11,000 teens aged 13 to 17 about their experiences of violence in teenage relationships, was conducted by Savanta on behalf of the Youth Endowment Fund (YEF), a government-backed charity that works to prevent children from becoming involved in violence.
Recognizing the limitations of such a survey, YEF reported that a quarter (28%) of teenagers surveyed said they had been in a romantic or sexual relationship in the past year. Of these, 39% said they had been abused, 15% said they had been physically or sexually abused, and more than a third (36%) reported emotional abuse.
Behaviors included checking partners on the phone or social media (19%), tracking their location (14%) and criticizing their body or appearance (11%). One in 10 of those in relationships said they felt forced or pressured into having sex, 12% were afraid to disagree, 13% felt they couldn't leave and 5% said explicit images of them had been posted online.
“Although girls were slightly more likely to experience emotional or physical violence from a partner than boys, the difference was small (41% versus 37%),” the report said. “Girls were more likely to say their partner made them feel like they couldn't leave, made them afraid to disagree, criticized their appearance, or pressured them into having sex. Meanwhile, boys were more likely to report having explicit images of themselves posted online.”
Three quarters of those who experienced violence said it affected their daily life. Two in five said they feel anxious and feel bad about themselves, while 39% have trouble sleeping, lose their appetite and have difficulty concentrating.
More than a third (34%) said it had affected their relationships with friends and family, and more than one in five (22%) said they had avoided going to school or college as a result.
John Yates, chief executive of YEF, said: “Evidence shows that high-quality lessons delivered by a trained teacher or youth worker can make a difference. Every teenager needs to learn what healthy relationships look like – and every school needs the tools, training and support to make this happen.”
Zara*, a member of the IEF Youth Advisory Council, said: “I think there needs to be more talk about understanding your boundaries. And not just in relationships, but also in friendships.”
“I also think we need to educate young people about what relationship violence is and the different aspects of it. Often when you think about it, you only think about one thing. But there are so many different scenarios that can contribute.”
Kay*, 18, a youth counselor at education charity Let Me Know (LMK), which works with young people to prevent relationship abuse, domestic abuse and sexual violence, told the Guardian that teenage relationships were nerve-wracking.
“Nobody knows what they're doing. It feels like people are vulnerable. Girls very often become isolated from their friends and it all comes down to the boy. When something goes wrong, it becomes very difficult to get them out of it.”
Kay also described a culture in which boys put girls down and criticize their appearance. “Boys act like the guy is doing the girl a favor by being with them. When it's physical abuse, everyone thinks they know what physical abuse looks like. When it's emotional abuse, it's harder for the person being abused to recognize it.”
Schools are trying their best, she said. “But I think schools are always years behind the problem. They don't catch it as early as they could.” At home, she said that “parents should not assume their child is not experiencing these things. Make it an active conversation to help that young person.”
LMK chief executive Deirdre Kehoe said: “This year's survey results highlight the importance of breaking the cycle of abuse. Without effective relationship education, young people's understanding of healthy and unhealthy relationships too often goes unchallenged until more harm is done.”
The Department of Education has been contacted for comment.
* Names have been changed
