Twitch star QTCinderella says she wishes she never started streaming

Popular Twitch streamer QTCinderella says she would be a “happier person” if she could go back and tell her younger self to choose a different career.

The 31-year-old, whose real name is Blair (she does not reveal her name), became famous for playing video games and cooking for her on live broadcasts. 1.2 million subscribers online.

In 2021, she created an annual Streamer Awardswhich will be broadcast online on Saturday.

But she told the BBC that while she was “incredibly lucky” to be in the position, the downsides of the role – from constant surveillance to occasional concerns about her safety – made it difficult to enjoy it.

“If I could go back and never experience what I experienced through this job, I think I would be a happier person overall,” she said.

“The biggest thing I wish I could do is, if I went back and could whisper in my ear, I would say, don't do this.”

Throughout 2025, several female content creators have expressed concerns about their safety, especially when attending public events.

In March, three American Twitch streamers, Cinna, Valkyrae and Emiru, took part in a week-long marathon stream when the man threatened to kill them.

Then, at the annual TwitchCon event for streamers in October, a man in the crowd grabbed Emira and tried to kiss her without her consent.

Although her personal guards were able to intervene, she accused the local security team don't hold it for hours after the event – something Twitch denied in statement.

Harassment – or the threat of it – is an issue Blair says she has also had to deal with since her rise to popularity online.

“I could open my Instagram DMs right now and read you 100 terrible things about why and how people would hurt me,” she said.

Blair says she has spent more than $2,000 (£1,500) every month in 2021 removing heavily edited photos of herself from the internet.

Then, in January 2023, she discovered that a deepfake site was using her image in pornographic material, along with other popular female streamers.

Now, she says, despite opening a craft store in Los Angeles earlier this year, she rarely visits it because men come into the store and ask for her.

“I thought it would be fun,” she said.

“Unfortunately, it got to the point where I couldn’t go there because men were looking for me.

“I don’t want this to be unsafe for my employees.”

Blair said she believes security at the Streamer Awards will be “aggressive” compared to other events as she hopes to help attendees from the streaming world feel as safe as possible.

The ceremony celebrates the best authors from around the world. various categories such as Gamer of the Year and Best Community, while this year's Streamer of the Year category includes Kai Chenath, Twitch's most popular streamer with 20 million subscribers.

The winners are determined by a combination of 70% fan votes and 30% industry panel votes.

In November, Blair faced accusations from viewers claiming that some popular streamers were banned from certain categories because they were too “problematic”, which she denied.

Videos of the streamer responding to criticism of the event soon went viral online.

“I think I need to answer less,” she said.

“But as a human being, you just want to be understood.”

The constant ebb and flow of streamer “drama” that many content creators like Blair face is part of the reason she finds the job challenging, but she says that's why she started presenting awards.

“It’s really important to me to bring people together because I think there’s a lot of toxicity on the internet,” she said.

“And if people could just have dinner together or talk across the board, it would make a big difference.

“One night a year the negativity is silent.”