How much does it take to become a trend again? Three? I decided two were close enough for now because I'm sure this has happened more times and I just missed it. I'm referring to MomTok's penchant for wearing clothes that look like “FUCK MEN” while simultaneously dating men and living her life completely immersed in an oppressive patriarchal culture. Earlier this season, Layla wore a hat that said, “I SUPPORT A MAN'S RIGHT TO STUFF.” And in this episode, Jesse sits in a car with her emotionally abusive husband, wearing a tank top covered in “BOYS LIE” patches and appliqués. It's like a “Girls Only, No Boys” sign on your bedroom door. Only these are adult women. So is this clothing choice a safer way to express feelings without facing the consequences of, I don't know, telling a man to go fuck himself? Are they just the first step towards a more productive and life-enriching feminism? Or is it just branded offers and am I reading too much into this?
Boys do lies, especially when their name is Dakota. Jesse promises to tell Taylor about Dakota sending sex to Taylor's “almost family member” if he doesn't do it himself. And he still hasn't done it. He and Taylor relax in bed, looking at all their Stagecoach photos. She is so happy that they are all getting along and even tells him that she will always love him. You can already see exactly how it will be edited for the opening supercut. Bachelorette party.
Although I'm getting ahead of myself. It must be difficult for moms to meet all of these deadlines, especially since multiple seasons are being filmed and aired in quick succession. For example, they just filmed a Season 2 reunion where they could only talk about what happened months ago, but in “real time” they're going through a whole other mess in public and online, much of which could ruin Season 2 – and it all happens near the end of Season 3. I have a headache!
After filming with Nick Viall, Whitney and Conner take their kids to the park to blow off some steam. They talk about how shocked they were to see the receipts displayed, particularly Demi Marciano's messages and her recorded conversation with Jen in which she provides Jen with a detailed script and acting coaching. In my opinion, this recording will always say more about Demi's character and motivations than any other recording we've seen to date. This is such an obvious manipulation! In light of all this new information, Whitney feels like she needs to talk to Demi to better understand the whole situation.
But before that happens, we have to tease MomTok's new “LGBT allies”! The main principle of the brand. Macy buys apples at the grocery store because Jacob says she eats too many Del Tacos. In the middle of the grocery aisle, they discuss Jacob's gay cousin and how Macy and Jacob not like other Mormons. So MomTok will be holding a proud event to show that they are allies to the community, especially in light of the shitty situation in Utah. House Bill 77.
In a conversation that feels a little more authentic, Jen meets DVTS about, Ezra. Like Jen, he is also Hispanic from Utah and grew up Mormon. Unlike Jen, he is gay, and when his parents found out, they suspended him from dancing. He eventually left Utah and the church and stopped speaking to his parents. Later his entire family left the church and now his mom has a pride tattoo. After telling the whole story, Ezra tells Jen, “God doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle…wanna make a TikTok?” Flawless item. Any underperforming MomTok member should be prepared to be voted out at the next board meeting because Ezra is here and ready to PERFORM. He's fun and cheeky and embodies most, if not all, of the MomTok brand. Who cares if he's not mom? Many of the best Real Housewives are not wives. Semantics!
Either way, it's time for Whitney to sit down with Demi to get to the bottom of what Demi really meant by the “eggplant, water, clam” emoji, among other pressing post-reunion issues. Demi has the answers to all your questions. Flirty messages? This is how she talks to all her friends. Her favorite name for Marciano? A “funny joke” her daughter came up with. Did Marciano communicate with his daughter on FaceTime at all? Accident. Conversation with Marciano if he is her abuser? A trauma response and a plan to prevent sexual abuse from coming to light. Any more questions? Bret knows everything.
Whitney returns to the hotel after listening to Demi and immediately reports everything to Conner, since this is not working out for her. He notes that Bret wanting to order DoorDash food for his wife's abuser is “weird” (a very diplomatic way of putting it!), and then says that if Whitney came home and reported that she had been attacked, he would do everything in his power to keep that man away from both her and their children. Ultimately, Whitney feels like Demi isn't being 100 percent honest with her, and probably isn't being honest with herself either. Conner ultimately wants to be wrong and believe the man who said he was touched inappropriately, but the story doesn't add up. If you had told me in Season 1 that these two would have the most measured and mature reactions to anything, I would have laughed heartily. But my favorite part of being a reality TV fan is being proven wrong! People are complex.
Back in Utah, drinks sponsored by Swig are poured at the MomTok pride event. Taylor eats a funeral potato while Jesse feels nauseous, knowing that Dakota is there making caviar bumps and convincing his mommy to come back. Everyone, including the podcast idiots on the guest list, is on good behavior. Macy approaches Joseph (Jacob's cousin) and says, “I [production] I was JUST wondering: was it difficult coming out to your family?” Maisie compares her coming out to telling her parents she was pregnant out of wedlock while she was attending BYU. Mikayla asks about any changes at BYU regarding the pride flag law, as if BYU flies pride flags at all. When Macy and Jacob return home, they plant a pride flag in their yard because MomTok needs to use their platform for good and be more active allies to the LGBT community. Okay, so… from now on, you're all going to support progressive candidates and rate the polls up and down, right? IS IT TRUE?!
Earlier in the episode, Jace and Mikayla went to couples therapy. This is the same therapist who tried to refer Mikayla to a sex therapist, so I'm guessing it's an in-between situation. They reframed their struggles with vulnerability and disparate sexual drives. Jace was concerned that Mikayla wouldn't have the motivation to deal with it, but the therapist reminded them that building better relationships through the example of their children can be a powerful motivator. It seems to be working. While discussing their birth plan, Mikayla reveals to Jace for the first time that her abuse began even before she was 15 – there were other incidents when she was six, but she felt she had to protect her abuser. Jace's heart hurts so much (same thing!) and he says it's his job to create her first safe place. If Jace ends up taking an evil (or even just a classic shitty person on this show) turn, God help me.
Speaking of classic shitty men on this show, Taylor learns about Dakota's caution. Her therapist told her that she was about to learn something very difficult. This is fine? I've never had a therapist who doubled as an oracle. The therapist tried to get Taylor and Dakota to come so he could tell her about it in a controlled setting. This did not happen because Taylor was about to leave for Los Angeles, so Dakota immediately told her about his hobbies with [basically-a-family-member]. I fully understand that Demi's daughter's name was censored, but Leanne's mother's friend, supposedly a grown woman? Surely the TikTok detectives will figure this out soon.
Alas, it's a mess, and Taylor is angry that she'll have to pull away during Jimmy Kimmel's filming. She had a glimmer of hope last week and now she has nothing. But soon no less than five limousines full of suitors will be vying for her hand. And that's not to mention the most important thing she has: SISTERHOOD.
