WITHSheen “Dog” Duffy is a legend lumberjack world champion: three-time world champion in the 90-foot dash lumberjack lifting speed who is known for his skill in assembling and rolling large pieces of wood. Not only a lumberjack, Duffy also made a splash on the late '90s reality series The Real World: Boston and Road Rules: All Stars. And now Duffy is putting his expertise in traffic laws to use as U.S. Secretary of Transportation.
Duffy has his hands full as a lumberjack: the transportation infrastructure in the United States is, technically speaking, a complete mess. More than a third of the country's territory bridges require major repairs or replacement. Historically, investment in railways has been negligible, and the country lags behind the rest of the industrialized world when it comes to high speed trains. Meanwhile, there is a chronic shortage of air traffic controllerswhich was exacerbated by the recent government shutdown, with a number of controllers, tired of a dysfunctional system, early retirement.
But don't worry, Sean Dog is on the case! The Transport Minister held a colorful meeting on Monday press conference with Secretary of Health Robert F. Kennedy Jr. at Reagan National Airport in Washington, D.C., to talk about his plans to usher in the golden age of air travel. The pair didn't waste much time on the boring intricacies of Duffy's air traffic controller recruitment several moves go elsewhere. And they didn't discuss reducing the number of seats on the plane or garbage fees that force you to pay more for basic things like choosing a seat. Instead, they did a lot of stretching in front of the camera. Duffy did 10 pull-ups. RFK Jr., who is 71, made 20.
Why were we invited to this testosterone festival? Because Duffy has a plan to make air travel more enjoyable—and has managed to raise $1 billion in grants to do it—apparently by turning airports into wellness centers. “Maybe I need a workout area where people can improve their circulation by doing pull-ups or doing sit-ups at the airport,” the transport minister mused.
Paul Saladino, an influencer who was a big supporter of “carnivore diet” And raw milkwas called upon to flesh out this plan. “What if we could create small spaces in airports for Americans to do mini-workouts?” Saladino was delighted. “Maybe treadmills for people who want to walk near their gates…maybe exercise bikes?”
Why not? I can't think of anything more satisfying than being squeezed into a tiny seat on a crowded plane, surrounded by travelers who have just sweated it out doing push-ups before their flight.
If the thought of stagnant sweat at 30,000 feet doesn't make you sick, I've got something else that might turn you around: RFK Jr. pays. tribute to the “mother's breast”. The press conference talked about how airports need more breastfeeding facilities, which, frankly, is a valid argument. It's a shame that Daffy and RFK Jr. had to make it creepy and pronatalist inviting conservative podcaster Isabelle Brown to talk about how to encourage young women to “embrace the beauty of motherhood.”
Duffy has many ideas for modernizing air travel. Last month he presented courtesy campaign entitled “The Golden Age of Travel Begins with You.” The website explains that it is meant to “kickstart a national conversation about how we can all restore civility and class to air travel.”
If we're going to talk about politeness, is there any chance that we can start with the people, I don't know, running the country? Stephen Chung, White House communications director, regularly writes on X that: “cuckolds” and calling on journalists “shut upAnd then there is Potus himself. Trump recently called a journalist.”pig” during a press conference about Air Force One, which is certainly one way to jumpstart the national conversation about restoring civility to air travel.
Likewise, Duffy has a sartorial vision of this golden age of air travel; he wants people to dress for basic economy flights. At a pre-Thanksgiving press conference, Duffy urged passengers to “dress a little better.” Don't ask how you should dress well at the same time. And By the way, use the airport as a place to train. He was unclear about this.
I'm not the only skeptic: different TikTokers wear pajamas to the airport to protest government calls to dress better. Even Magasphere thinks that Daffy has some strange priorities. “I'm tired of people in government saying, 'Well, the golden age of travel starts with you. Get dressed. “Be polite,” right-wing podcaster Tim Dillon. said in a recent episode. “Hey, Sean, no one has any money. Nobody has any damn money, you fool.”
Of course, this is not entirely true. The super rich live in golden age private air travel. And I have a strange feeling that you won’t catch any of them pulling up at the airport next to people like you and me.
