Scheana Shay On Her Mexican Heritage Journey

Something that's really interesting and I think really applies to a lot of people that you write about is growing up “feeling like [you] you had to hide the fact that you were half Mexican” because you didn’t feel Hispanic enough to fit in at school, while at the same time feeling like you stood out among your immediate family because you looked different than them. You also talked about how reconciling your feelings with this is “the next chapter of your life.” What has that looked like for you so far and what is your relationship with your heritage now?

You know, I think that in the past I just haven't always been comfortable talking about my Latin heritage, and not because I'm embarrassed or ashamed. Literally, quite the opposite. I'm so proud to be Mexican, but I just felt a little like impostor syndrome. I know one of the main reasons [why] was my father, the man who raised me. He is Dutch, blond hair, blue eyes, and my mother has blond hair and green eyes. My Latin roots come from my biological father, who has always been in my life, but rather at a distance. This is not the one who raised me.

I didn't grow up in a Spanish-speaking family like I would have liked. I would like my daughter to do this. But I never wanted my father to feel like he wasn't enough or that he wasn't my real father, because he's my father, he's the one who raised me. So I kind of hid that part of my life. And, you know, being raised, like I said, without a language and a culture, I just felt like I didn't fit in. I felt like I couldn't tell people I was Mexican because my last name was Yankan and my parents were white, so [people] We weren't going to understand this.

But yeah, going back to impostor syndrome, I feel like that's something I've struggled with. I never want to be seen as just taking advantage of the positive aspects of this community – you know, like this opportunity that's in front of me right now – without having to deal with the challenges that this community faces in America. What we're going through right now is just crazy.

I literally try to always stay away from politics because I'm always afraid of saying the wrong thing. If you listen to my podcast, you know I don't talk much, but I feel like the issues and racism that the Latin community faces, especially in more escalated times lately, with everything related to ICE, it's not even a political issue at this point. This is a human question. I've heard so many stories of people just being separated from their families, and it's not okay. People are targeted because of the color of their skin, their language, the music they listen to, their job… it's just… it's all wrong.

Like Bad Bunny's reaction to the Super Bowl? Downright racist. This is not normal. I said it on my podcast last week: The Super Bowl is global, but music is universal. This could be one of the biggest Super Bowl halftime shows ever. He's so iconic. I saw him in SNL for the 50th anniversary and [he was] so good.

But I really want to finally open up to the world about my family and put it all into a book, I feel like I finally have a little permission to explore my cultural identity further and I really want to understand more about it. I tell my daughter that she is Mexican and Polynesian. We are trying to teach her a culture that she doesn't fully understand yet because she just knows her Nani and her Opa. However, she is dating her Latino cousins ​​and we spend a lot of time with them in Vegas.

And one day I think she'll ask, “Wait, which side of the family are they on?” because she doesn't yet realize that there is a third side of the family – your cousins, your uncles, your kids… but last weekend we spent some time with my Latino family in Vegas and she got to be there with them. So it's always nice when we can get together and just feel like family.