I can't believe it's been over six years since the infamous barn fight between Candice and Monique. Honestly, it feels like a lifetime ago when we saw Monique clutching a Candiace wig and struggling to quit her job, but looking back, not much has changed. Sure, everyone's divorced now, and Candace has temporarily taken her theatrical talents from the music studio to the podcast mic—but we have the same president, Ashley remains as sleazy as ever, and Gizelle still won't bring a man on camera. Some truths remain the same Potomac Universe.
I can be honest and admit that at the time I was a little clouded with disgust at Candiace's antics, which probably allowed me to show Monica too much favor in regards to the situation. First of all, franchises are no strangers to violence: RONG sometimes serves WWE undercard, depending on the season; Salt Lake City threw more drinks in people's faces than Susan Lucci; And Atlanta couldn't even have a peaceful slumber party. During this period ladies Potomac were still clinging to the delusional claim that they represented a particular style of genteel upper-class blacks that had long since been abandoned – the cast may be a product of Jack and Jill, but the show isn't Gilded Age. And so, once the fight actually aired, more than a year after the fiasco had already been leaked to the press, we spent an entire season hitting it over the head by arguing that the cast was above it.
While I can now accept that what Monique did was an unacceptable escalation of interpersonal problems in the workplace (that's what the show is, after all), her performance at the reunion will remain a moment of all time not only PotomacBut Housewives story simply because it ruined the show. Fully aware that she was going to leave, she promptly let Giselle go with a connecting moment that was broadcast around the world (Karen's question “Is Jamal coming” lingers in my cerebellum with sardonic satisfaction) but, more importantly, forced everyone to admit that while she was a deserving target for the reunion, all women have skeletons in their closets they didn't want to confront. Gisele is reunited with the man who has embarrassed her many times with his skirt-chasing penchant; Robin was in an endless engagement to her present husband, who, then as now, seemed to give her little entertainment; Karen is a sugar baby turned breadwinner who can be found at any Potomac watering hole; Ashley was married to the personification of the grim reaper.
All the women were trapped in their own misery, trying to make Monique the main cause of their misery. Monica really needed to go, but the chaos she left behind, while sometimes resulting in uneven, stilted television, forced women to recognize their own shortcomings in her absence. Ashley could no longer hide her failure in marriage; Robin's constant state of melancholy became inevitable; Chris Bassett couldn't keep his job longer than a season. I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that the women of Season 10 seemed to be at least partially affected by Monique's cleansing of the slate after her first exile.
Monica's penchant for being blunt, almost to the point of bluntness, already makes her return to the cast exciting. Luckily, she makes no secret of the fact that she's addressing the elephant in the room, namely the state of her divorce. It's no secret that Housewives can be taxing on any marriage, but often we hear it from the perspective of women who come on the show to build a career and a platform for a safe separation. Monique, however, openly admits that being on the show kept her marriage alive for years longer than it should have. Based on her initial involvement in the franchise, I'm pretty sure she kept her marriage out of spite; at the time, there was no way she was going to let Giselle get ahead of her, and the image of her successful Black family with numerous homes, investments and businesses was her main trump card.
It was nice to hear the women reflect on that time without the show becoming a dull “very special episode.” Gizelle being able to acknowledge the strain she realized was in Monique's marriage from a divorcee is a conversation that Monique simply wouldn't have been able to have five years ago, and I think it's great that both women are acknowledging it. I don't know if we can get Gizelle to admit on camera that Monique gave her the opportunity to make money at that meeting, but we'll take small victories where we can.
Unfortunately, Gizelle and Monique finally finding common ground is not the revitalizing agent they use to structure Monique's return to the group. Monique and Wendy are finally not trying to establish a relationship outside of Candiace's sphere of influence after Monique was effectively removed from filming Wendy's debut season. For whatever reason I'm still desperately trying to figure out, we keep pulling out that tired “Stacy desperately needs Chris” line.
Look, I get it. Stacey certainly has a knack for grasping the truth. I've dated enough men who told me they didn't have a girlfriend, only to find out that they actually did. wife (this only happened three times, but it's crazy that it happened more than once) so I recognize the person whose statements of fact come with conditions. But here's the thing: I don't care whether she fucked Chris or not. I don't care that her husband Temu barely wants to be on camera with the rest of the cast, or that they are too lazy to come up with clear excuses to avoid participating in events. Temu speaks five words per minute, and for my ADHD brain it's like nails on a chalkboard; I won't miss him if he's never put on a microphone again.
What Stacey understands well is that if you're not going to be authentic, you're going to have to sell fantasy. Stacey decided to become a bubbly, out-of-touch model with a Mary Poppins vibe to her portrayal of Kenya Moore. It doesn't matter to me whether it's legal or not, as long as it doesn't become fundamentally inconsistent with her image on camera, a la Grande Dame. It may be a QVC workout, the same soil that gave us the trouble known as Lisa Rinna, but you just can't move her from her field.
Stacy's consistent portrayal ends up making women look even more deranged for crying out loud about it. Monique had already said that she didn't care who Chris dated, but Ashley, Keyarna, Tia and Gizelle just couldn't leave them alone. Now I have to pretend that I care that Stacy told Chris that Monique became miserable towards the end of her marriage? I'm sure Chris doesn't know anymore whether this Cookie lady is reporting to him or not. Considering how the latest fiasco with the third person bringing the gossip ended, I'm just not intrigued or inclined to explore this line of inquiry any further unless Stacy ups and leaves the Thread for Chris.
All these shenanigans eventually lead to Stacy becoming indispensable to the group. I can somewhat understand Tia's frustration – even though she's overrated parts of the Nigerian royal family, she's mostly shared her personal life on camera, warts and all, and is disappointed that Stacey won't do the same. But Keyarna gets mad at Monique when there is absolutely no sign that Monique cares or cares at all, and as a result, Stacey treated her accordingly. Keyarna may be a stunning beauty, but she wasn't ready to get in the ring for a war of words with Detroit Barbie. Stacey cheekily telling K that “the only time you're mad is because of me” was a nice little jab, but when K tried to retort by saying, “I would never leave my husband by your side,” Stacey had no choice but to uppercut her: “You don't have one.” I'm really glad that Keyarna is finally showing up this season as I prefer a beautiful bitch on wheels over a calm one, but unfortunately she still didn't make it this time. See you next week!
• The more Angel talks about his imaginary problem with Wendy, the less rational she sounds. Her husband can't even pretend to be bothered by this small matter because of his wife. Every time she claims that Wendy has somehow betrayed her more than Giselle by defining what a catfish is, a clown nose spontaneously begins to grow on her face. Wendy and Gisele were indeed erratic and mean-spirited, but nothing about it justified the week-long spiral our WAG went through.
• Wendy really rocked her toes! It's a shame that her best season to date comes right after what we know is a precipitous decline. (Yes, yes, I know she graciously spoke at BravoCon and was generally well received, but when your local newspaper reports allegations of alleged aliases and over 40 credit cards, it's clear there's still a long way to go.)
• When it comes to crossover moments, I allow/overlook them as long as they make sense for the show and the connections between the groups. Vanderpump Boys on Summer HouseYeah, come on, they basically helped launch this franchise. Cynthia making guest appearances in whatever franchise she wants is fine, because I appreciate any excuse to swoon over her cheekbones. Attracting competitors from Hotel of love, however, this is where I have to draw the line. I'm sure Whale is a wonderful person, but this isn't Marvel, and I'm not going to watch three other franchises just to understand what's happening on my TV screen. I already have to watch the subreddits like a hawk!
• At this point, the question “What is GNA” may become Danger category. We've gone from a clothing line to a wellness brand, from event promotion to charity, and now we make platforms. Many companies make PRIDE platforms, but they usually sell something. What on earth is GNA selling? I still have no idea.
• Ten million downloads of “Reasonably Shady”? Are you actually listening to this podcast? The color shocked me.
