Desmond Carter is on a mission to save the lives of black men.
Carter, founder Mental health is a real wealthleads a bimonthly mental health group in the Leimert Park neighborhood of Los Angeles, and last Thursday, 15 black men gathered in a conference room without pressure and without women.
When the men entered, they put their arms around each other and leaned in for a hug. Many wore Los Angeles paraphernalia—LA sneakers, shirts with signs on the streets of the Crenshaw district, and had a variety of hairstyles—some with curls, fades, and others with braids. The youngest man was 19 years old. Among them were several men who were more than twice his age. They were all there because they understood one thing: to be vulnerable and take care of themselves. mental health important.
Before they started the session, Carter, 37, told them about his best friend who committed suicide after being diagnosed with schizophrenic depression. He told this story several times.
“This literally happened 10 years ago, and it’s still hard,” said Carter, who remembers his friend as funny, slick and smart. But he often hid his diagnosis and said that he was fine. “It motivated me to do what I do now. I see so many of my peers and people who look like me walking around, flying, cool, fresh, carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders and acting like there's nothing wrong with them.”
The group is just one of the few black-male-created safe spaces where men can let their guard down completely, and it exists at a time when suicide rates among black boys and men have plummeted. increased in recent years by 25.3%. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports that suicide is the third leading cause of death for black adolescents and young adults. Black boys and men make up the vast majority of suicides among the black population.
And right now, black men are caught between a rock and a hard place.
Before and after the peak of the Covid era, black men were limited in the healthy space for full emotional expression. Black men less likely seek psychological help. And even when they do, they are more likely to receive substandard, culturally incompetent care rooted in racist motives. health inequality This was reported by the Kaiser Family Foundation.
Research shows that the Covid-19 pandemic has increased loneliness and isolation among the general population. Although there is debate in society about the reality of “Epidemic of male loneliness” and the impact of online misogyny on the “manosphere” as a whole, there is one thing that is under-researched and overlooked: black men and their mental health.
Lance Lenford, a psychologist, said he had noticed a shift in society during and after Covid. Generation X and Millennial Americans were told that in order to achieve the American Dream, they would have to go to school, get married and buy a house, but there is now an identity crisis for those who couldn't make it. This is especially true for black men.
“I think there's a space where we're figuring out how to be and how to exist in this—just to be honest—this white world that we're in, trying to spread our own wings and be who we think we should be or who we can be…” Lenford said. “But you hit this wall and you get to the point where I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.”
Older black men also experience an identity crisis as they begin to think more about what retirement might look like for them and their ideal picture of what they want isn't adding up. These problems are exacerbated as Generation X and Black millennial men become fathers due to financial pressure from parents.
While black millennial men are now spend more time With their children than other groups and more than previous generations, when they are stressed, they may not have the time or money to go to therapy, Lenford said. There's also the aspect of not being able to figure out your identity before you have a child.
“You have this duality of, ‘I have to be the breadwinner,’” Lenford said. “I have to be the person I want to be, and I believe that I am, and I have presented myself that way, but I'm also kind of falling apart because I don't really know where I'm going or how I'm actually doing it.”
Black men's serious problems According to the American Psychological Association, these are inequalities in the economy, health care and education, as well as systemic racism and social injustice. In addition, deaths from despair—deaths from suicide, alcohol use, and drug overdoses—are now higher among blacks than among whites.
Along with the harms of living in a patriarchal society and having to accept the role of service providers like men in general, black men in Carter's group said they face particular pressures to act tough, already know how to do certain tasks, to be strong and not show emotion.
Some men were forced to come to the meeting because another man told them to come. Others expressed stress, depression or feeling like the world was falling apart. They expressed adjustments arising from the feeling that they were losing their masculinity or way of life and friendships due to the responsibilities of family life and parenthood.
“If I can do anything, if I look back and look at their lives and see that they didn’t do this, that they didn’t express themselves,” said one man whose father and grandfather suffered from bipolar disorder. “They went crazy, and it took years, and then they got even more angry. And then something happened in their lives, something turned upside down.”
Wayne Bennett, President of Mental Health is Wealth, Corporate Health Consultant and Life Coach for Men in Los Angeleshelps men find healthier ways to express their emotions, whether professionally or personally. He said the group serves as a safe place for men where they don't have to wear a mask. Its specific goal is to help men break cycles and promote emotional expression.
“A lot of men talk about having childhood depression or a lack of leadership of any kind and just having to figure things out on their own,” Bennett, 41, said. “A lot of men may never have had therapy before, so this is a great route into therapy.”
In Los Angeles, a region that has a unique history of police brutality, gangs and mass incarceration—all of which disproportionately affect black men—they are forced to wear security. Bennett said he has spoken with black men and they expect their interactions to be transactional, career-oriented or aggressive. He added that in Los Angeles, men lack trust in each other.
Carter started the group in 2022 as a preventative measure to get black men like him to consider counseling and therapy. He said talking to other black men he too was healed.
“I just wanted it to be a space where they could just dump money, not only dump money, but celebrate wins,” he said. “I want this to be a place where people and our brothers can get flowers.”
