Different people want different things from a holiday movie. Some people want a cozy story that directly reflects the spirit of the holiday and what it represents. Others want to stick to their favorite genre but spice it up with a holiday backdrop, does that mean Santa-themed horror slasherA Hanukkah comedyor Kwanzaa romance. For some of us, however, the ideal holiday movie is anything that brings the family together for a few hours, something that everyone can agree on and enjoy together. So here's my argument for M. Night Shyamalan's 2008 disaster. Incident as the perfect unifier.
Let's be clear: Incident not one of those, “Well, it takes place at Christmas!” films that cunning film fans are trying to introduce into the Christmas canon, for example Die Hard or Batman returns. This isn't even a cozy winter wonderland movie: it's a sunny summer story. And this is not a “lost gem” that was unfairly derided in its time and then rediscovered as a cult classic. Incident this is a terrible movie. But it's hilariously terrible—one of the best “I can't believe they thought this was a good idea” viewing experiences in the modern era. And this film was created specifically for group viewing for many reasons.
High school science teacher Elliot (Mark Wahlberg) and his wife Alma (Zooey Deschanel) are already going through some struggles as a couple even before people in New York City suddenly start killing themselves en masse by any means necessary. “It seems there is event is happening,” says one of Elliot's colleagues in the first of many, many awkwardly written, ponderously spoken lines. Amid rumors that some kind of bioterrorist attack is taking place, Elliot and Alma, along with Elliot's colleague Julian (John Leguizamo) and his 8-year-old daughter Jess (Ashlyn Sanchez), flee the city among herds of other nervous, displaced people as eerie suicides occur around them.
Admittedly, it doesn't feel like a holiday atmosphere. (I would exclude young children from family group viewings: some of IncidentShyamalan's death is terrible.) But the joy of Shyamalan's film isn't the plot, it's the stunningly clumsy execution.
As the characters begin to realize that the suicide virus seems to be affecting people gathering in large numbers, they split into smaller and smaller groups and head further into the countryside. Elliot and Alma encounter a variety of strangers who are reacting to the deadly crisis in increasingly mysterious ways – such as a helpful man who gives a little impromptu breathless speech on behalf of the hot dogs. “You know, hot dogs have a bad reputation. They have a cool shape, they have protein – you like hot dogs, right?” Then, almost without pausing, he moves straight to what he thought was less important to discuss: “By the way, I think I know what's causing this.” (He's right if you don't know what's going on yet and want a spoiler.)
No one in Incident talks or acts like a real person, especially Elliot and Alma. Faced with an unknown “incident” that is killing the people around them, they have the smallest family quarrel in cinematic history, with Wahlberg delivering all of his lines in a choked half-whisper, and Alma spending most of the film staring at him and everything else around her with a blank, tearful, but frighteningly unblinking stare.
It turns out she committed the ultimate sin by going out for dessert with a co-worker. (“We ate tiramisu together. That's all.”) As revenge, Elliott aggressively reveals that he almost spent “about six bucks” on a “totally extra bottle of cough syrup” at the pharmacy because the pharmacist was attractive.
In the right hands, this dialogue could be funny and disarming, a way to relieve tension. It seems like Elliot is trying to convey in a twisted way that he really doesn't think the dessert date is that big of a deal and that he's sorry he exaggerated it earlier. It's true that danger and stress can bring hidden conflicts, even small and silly ones, to the surface. But none of the film's human drama ever feels human. In this particular instance, Wahlberg sounds bruised, proud, condescending and constipated, while Deschanel acts as if he just revealed he's dying of cancer.
Both of these actors have been amazing in other movies and shows. Their quiet, enhanced labor in Incident he must have been coached by Shyamalan, who had gotten similar results from his cast in previous films. IN Sixth sense in particular, Joel Osment's Haley whispers fit the story perfectly, highlighting that whenever he talks about his supernatural gifts, he's sharing secrets not intended for most ears. IN Incidentthis approach just makes the actors sound hoarse and ineffective, as if they were all screaming in frustration between takes and couldn't muster the voice or energy to play their parts clearly.
But the script is the real problem in Incident. This premise is unlikely, but also the kind of scientific stretch that most sci-fi or horror fans would accept as price of admission if it weren't so poorly explained and so stupidly presented on screen. The script oscillates between obtuse, purely functional, action-driven dialogue (“Stop the car!”, “What's going on?”, “Is everything okay?”) and desperate-sounding exposition designed to keep the audience from resisting the eventual revelation of the causes of the suicides. (“Regarding the collapse of the honeybee colony: “I mean, science will find some reason that can be published in books, but in the end it will remain just a theory. We will not be able to recognize that there are forces beyond our understanding.”)
Apart from these two poles, every second phrase uttered in this film is What the hell made anyone think those words would sound right coming out of human lips? moment. (“Why are you eyeing my drink Iemon?”)
That's the thing Incident like a “so bad it’s good” watch: it’s mesmerizing. This isn't a “play in the background while you do other things” movie – the endlessly strange writing and execution choices and the jerky drama of sudden violent death demand attention. And watching it alone isn't much fun either. Incident What's needed is a wider audience: a group of people ready to laugh together, people in amazement with whom you can exchange puzzled glances as you wonder: ContinuityJeremy Strong really just keeps yelling, “My firearm is my friend!” or “These people are really trying run away from the breeze?
I showed Incident groups of people on different occasions, and it's always a good time – the perfect experience of collective bewilderment and wonder. It's dark and grim enough to not feel entirely frivolous, and ridiculous enough to prevent anyone from taking the horror elements seriously. It's also very strange and very surprising: just when you think you've gotten used to the jumbled line readings and garbled dialogue, someone will compare escaping a besieged city during a terrorist attack to buying a Cabbage Patch doll or responding to a death threat by shouting out a math problem. At the same time, the film is 90 minutes long, which is not too tedious for fun viewing, and is ideal for a vegetable break after a heavy holiday meal or a tiring family trip.
Incident will never make it into the annals of holiday movies or end-of-year classic film reviews. There are no moral uplifting moments or cozy, comforting messages about people coming together as a community, family or couple. But if you're looking for something to stream for the whole family that won't cause political controversy, fill half the room, or feel like every other Christmas movie is clogging up the airwaves this time of year, I wholeheartedly recommend Incident. It's wildly weird entertainment – and at least you'll have something to talk about later.
Incident streaming on Hulu and available for rent or purchase on Amazon, Google Play and similar digital platforms.
