I’m Taking a Cue From Latina Celebs Over 40 Who Found Love

I'm embarrassed to admit that I was one of those girls in their 20s who genuinely felt sorry for single women aged 40 and older. And I don't mean that I look down on them or think that I'm better at anything. In fact, when I was growing up, women in their 40s and older were always cooler to me than women in their 20s and 30s. In my opinion, they were much more beautiful and feminine. They dressed better, they had better taste in everything from shoes to restaurants, and they embraced their femininity very comfortably and confidently – not for the purpose of attracting the male gaze, but because they were simply comfortable with who they were. They were confident, intuitive, experienced, unapologetic about themselves, and always full of wisdom.

But despite how amazing I knew them to be, I grew up watching single people often give up on love or end up in relationships with men who I immediately knew weren't worth their time. It didn't matter if these women were successful, made six figures, looked 10 years younger than their age, or raised wonderful children. In my communities, especially Latinx communities, there was an underlying idea that a woman over 40 was somehow “inferior” and less likely to find love unless she settled for someone older, divorced, and no longer having children.

However, as I got older, I began to notice that this “sad reality” wasn’t reality at all—it was a double standard rooted in misogyny. And today I have seen so many Latino celebrities reject this myth. Sofia Vergara, at 50, spoke openly in an interview How did she never give up on love?. Jessica Alba, who experienced a strong glow after divorce at 44is dating the handsome and talented 32-year-old actor Danny Ramirez. As a single mother of three, she now looks happier and more radiant than ever before.

It doesn't end there. Salma Hayek found love at 40eventually got married and became a mother. Eva Longoria is in a great relationship at 40 and became a mother later in life. Eva Mendes found the perfect match with Ryan Gosling at 39and she shared that it was worth the wait. Both of her daughters were 40 years old. Even Cameron Diaz got married at 42. and talked about how the timing couldn't have been better.

All these incredible women are living proof that love has no age limit. They change the narrative and show that romance can blossom beautifully at any stage of life. It doesn't matter if you're a single mom of three or a 40-year-old woman who still doesn't have kids of her own. Watching these beautiful and successful women live and love so fully made me realize that my own story is just beginning, no matter how old I am.

I have come to realize that the ageist narrative that women lose value as they age is one of the biggest lies that patriarchy continues to tell us. It immediately disempowers us, takes all our money, and encourages us to make bad and desperate decisions that further support misogynistic systems. The truth is that once I abandoned this belief myself, I began to attract men who value me for who I am, and not for my age or the children I may or may not give them. Even men who have no idea I froze my eggs this year. seem to be much more interested in me as a person, a creator and a writer, than in how old I am.

I have no doubt that this is because rejecting this outdated and sexist narrative that women become unwanted after 35 has given me more confidence. Dating also became easier because I did it more on my terms. I accepted that I have a dominant personality, like my Dominican mother, and I often like to take charge and call the shots. Therefore, I prefer gentle, confident and relaxed masculine men who comfortably and confidently follow my flow and my pace. But this is something I had to learn as I got older.

At 39 years old and turning 40 next year, I know I feel more comfortable and happy in my skin than ever before. I have very few moments when I am not satisfied with what I see in the mirror. My body is fitter, healthier and much more toned at 39 than it even was at 19, even though I got thinner at that age. My skin is smoother, clearer and more radiant than ever and my curls have never been so long, thick and healthy in my entire life. And even on those days when I feel like I haven't achieved enough career milestones or financial goals yet (much of my anxiety stems from the fact that I'm still not a rich auntie), I can still remind myself of all that I've been able to accomplish as a professional writer and journalist on culture and identity that most people never get to do in their lives.

I realized that finding love has nothing to do with age and everything to do with how you see yourself. As long as you see yourself as a prize, you will attract what you believe you are worthy of. As I approach 40 (my birthday is next April), I feel more excited than ever about the woman I am becoming. Five or six years ago, I might have been worried about the milestones I still hadn't achieved, or worried that I'd never meet the love of my life because of ageist beliefs. But now, as a more confident and confident version of myself, I am truly excited for the woman I will become in this new chapter and the amazing people I will meet along the way. We're willing to embrace this way of thinking and understand that love is absolutely possible at any age—no matter what your grandma told you!

Johanna Ferreira is the content director of PS Juntos. With over 10 years of experience, Joanna focuses on how intersectional identities are a central part of Latinx culture. She previously spent nearly three years as deputy editor of HipLatina and has freelanced for numerous publications, including Refinery29, The Oprah Magazine, Allure, InStyle and Well+Good. She has also moderated and spoken on numerous panels on issues of Latina identity.