I Went to a Longevity-Focused Hotel After Losing My Mom and I Have No Regrets

I was staring at a leaf in a lush garden in Hawaii while trying my best to forest bathe, a Japanese mindfulness practice in which you Immerse yourself in the atmosphere of the forest
as a stress reliever. There were koi ponds and the gentle sound of birds chirping—a serene utopia by design. If ever there was an opportunity to be in the present moment, it was in this moment. But instead of fully devoting myself to a forest bath, I did more of a “forest spray.” I was at the adults only Four Seasons Hotel. Sensei Lanaito learn about longevity through the principles of movement, nutrition and rest – however, I was only partially present. Instead of tuning into my surroundings and the sound of the guide's voice, I fought a step-by-step battle with my racing thoughts.

I kept coming back to how much I wanted to Facetime my mom and show her the sculpture in the garden that reminded me of her. In the nearly 18 months since she passed away, I've found myself reaching for the phone to call or text her—usually in the middle of a chaotic day with my two little ones, when I wanted to ask how she managed to fight with me and my sister in the early days of our lives, or in the middle of an exciting day at work, when I wanted to share a victory with my biggest cheerleader. Returning to these activities would soften the intensity of the sadness of not having her with me anymore. But in this visually vibrant but quiet environment, the sadness persisted.

Over the next two days, I attended workouts, tried bodywork techniques, and took tests to learn about my health. I received the perfect instructions for optimizing my health for the next few decades. But focus on longevity brought attention to the simmering thought that my mother's life was cut short. Can following these practices prolong my life? I was hoping they would, but at least it was nice to know that I was doing everything I could to optimize my health under the guidance of some of the world's leading health experts.

My experience and conclusions

My stay began with an intention session with Edwardo Williams, a former professional athlete turned exercise physiology guide, who measured and assessed my health metrics including body fat, muscle mass, and hydration. Taking a magnifying lens to my somewhat neglected health is not the most pleasant way to begin a journey. But I reminded myself that this is not a vacation, this is a learning opportunity.

Although my skeletal muscle mass was within normal limits, he recommended that I incorporate more weight training into my daily routine. As we age, we lose muscle mass. I stared at a downward slope graph showing that if I didn't start improving my muscle mass, I would be below average by age 60. I witnessed this firsthand when my mother lost her strength and mobility. Everyday tasks like delivering groceries have become a challenge. I made a mental note that the next time I try to give up weight training (which, to be fair, has been the better part of the last three years), I will force myself to remember that these exercises will help me lay the foundation so that I can move forward with ease and independence.

The work included a series of mobility and strength exercises aimed at solving problems. my strength and posture. The exercises were familiar and I could do them at home. The session was not full of life hacks that only needed to be done once per trip. Instead, I will need to consistently perform the movements when I get home.

Sensei is known for its innovative expertise. Later in the trip I'll get body heat mapping and massage – one of the most futuristic tools I've ever encountered. It uses exclusive thermography technology developed by Sensei to create a visual map of your body, allowing the therapist to target areas of tension. As a marathon runner, I wasn't surprised to see that my hamstrings and calves had turned a particularly ominous shade of red. Cross tension in my left calf, right hamstring and right hip was a constant source of pain. The tension in my neck and throat took me by surprise and was due to my poor posture. But the massage was aimed at opening my shoulders and relaxing my legs. It was the release and reality check that my body needed.

To further relax the muscles, I also tried a water bodywork session. Unlike anything I had experienced before, this was stretching, massage and sound bath while swimming. I spent the first portion trying not to think about how I was going to fit my new strength regimen into my daily routine before I finally let go of the analytical part of my brain. Ironically, the leisure activities were the most challenging for me. If strength training was an afterthought, mindfulness wasn't even on the to-do list. This was a clear sign that I would need to turn it on more when I got home.

Having completed my trip, I left with tools to help me become healthier now and in the future. While I know that feeling good doesn't guarantee a longer life, I came away with the understanding that if I followed the learnings of this trip, I could get more quality out of these years.

Although I originally sought out this experience to learn from experts about objective measures of my health, the emphasis on mindfulness made me think about how I was doing inside. To sit with the sadness and know that it will never completely go away. Recognize that I fear my own mortality and hopefully use that as motivation to stay in tune with the elements of my health that are under my control.

Genevieve Farrell Roston (she/her) is an award-winning director and video director at PS. She curates the Webby Award-nominated video series PS Fit, which makes fitness fun and accessible. Has over 10 years of experience in the entertainment industry. A certified personal trainer, she enjoys running, Pilates, and rest days. As a mother of two, she is an avid reviewer of baby products and products.