I Was a 34-Year-Old New Mom When I Was Diagnosed With Stage IV Breast Cancer

My initial thought was, “I'm going to fight and be as aggressive as possible: remove my breasts and do whatever I want.” I started with an anxious feeling: “Let's come up with a game plan. Let's execute it. Let's move.” I wanted to start as quickly as possible. So it was very confusing when I started learning more about the best and newest treatment options for stage 4 breast cancer: It's not a mastectomy and it's not necessarily the most aggressive treatment because it's incurable.

I went through several rounds of chemotherapy when I realized I was not in good hands. Luckily, I have people in my social circle and family who work in the medical field and have begun to explore my options. My husband's uncle, a breast cancer surgeon, called me and said, “I'm reading all this and I think we need to reconsider your treatment plan.” My oncologist at the time was not following current standards of care. I was taking a drug that has been removed from the metastatic disease guidelines because it is more toxic than necessary for an incurable disease. If I had a different mutation or earlier stage breast cancer, this would make sense. But this oncologist saw my concern and said, “Okay, if you want to be very aggressive, that's what we'll do,” instead of teaching me the best way to proceed.

I immediately asked my husband's uncle to help me find another doctor, who took me off the chemo so I wouldn't feel so sick or nauseous. I ended up at UCLA with Dr. Sarah Hurwitz, who is at the forefront of treating HER2-positive breast cancer. When she left for another hospital, I began seeing my current oncologist, Dr. Marla Lipsick-Scharf. She moved from the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute in Boston, close to where I'm from, and was a perfect fit. I'm so grateful that I no longer have to question what we do. I can be sure that they are taking appropriate measures and are aware of the most up-to-date approach. Not knowing what happened before was the worst thing. There are times when you feel, “Okay, I just have to get over it because I have tumors in my brain,” right? But you want to feel confident in who is advising you and what treatment you are taking because it can be very frustrating at times; you want to know you're doing the right thing. When I determined very early on that the treatment plan was not the best one for me, I was alarmed. It was like, “Wow, I need to protect myself a lot more than I thought.”

Billy Brenneisen

Billy Brenneisen

My biggest piece of advice, which I believe is a life saver, is: Don't be afraid to get a second opinion, even if you already see “better.” My current oncologist, whom I absolutely adore, would encourage me to do exactly what I was interested in. No good doctor would feel threatened or insulted by your desire to seek other points of view. If so, I don't think this is the right supplier.