December is full of celebrations with traditions and celebrations going back thousands of years (or 30 years if you're celebrating Festivus). But as someone who experiments with the strange ways that AI models interpret the massive amounts of data people feed them, I was curious to see what they might call an extra winter break. To find out, I asked ChatGPT and Gemini to come up with a new winter holiday.
I have clarified that these holidays cannot resemble Christmas, Hanukkah, New Year's, or other pre-existing solstice holidays. I wanted them to design holidays that could reflect real human behavior and interests, even if that meant activities that seemed trivial or whimsical out of context.
Taumark and rumble
Both AI models are based on the idea that people become restless and feel trapped in the winter months. People differ on how they use the holidays to respond to this universal feeling. ChatGPT hosted a quiet, thoughtful celebration of warmth called “Thawmark,” and Gemini hosted a celebration called “The Clatter,” a festival with a definite article celebrating defiance and chaos.
ChatGPT introduced Thawmark by setting up a generic script:
“If you live somewhere where winter really comes into its own with attitude, you'll eventually learn a strange truth: by the end of January, you're not as tired of the cold as you are tired of yourself in the cold.
Taking place on the “first clear Sunday after the deepest stretch of midwinter,” Tomark represents a “low-stakes re-expansion” without the burden of optimism. “People call it ‘marking in winter,’ like marking a trail so you don’t get lost on it.”
In contrast, Gemini's The Clatter offers a more punk rock response to winter:
“If you've been feeling like the walls of your home have been closing in on you since December, you're ready for it. The Clatter isn't about being cozy or “mindful”; this is a way out of stagnation in the middle of winter. It arose naturally from the “house fever” of northern climates—that moment in February when the air is dead and the routine of being indoors has become a mental prison. The purpose of The Clatter is a spatial challenge. This is the day to prove to yourself that you are not a ghost wandering through your corridors, but a physical force capable of changing your environment.”
The holiday falls on the second Friday of February, without accumulation. “You just wake up and realize that the ‘heavy air’ of winter needs to be removed.”
Traditions of Taumark
Both holidays have many interesting “traditions” to mark the occasion, as you can see in Tomark's example above.
Thawmark begins with “A Minor Renovation”:
“It could be sewing on a button, tightening a wobbly chair leg, clearing out one shelf… It's not productivity, and no one brags about it. The rule is: the task must be completed before noon, and it must be small enough so as not to ruin the day.”
Later, you take a “Marking Walk,” a quiet walk around the neighborhood to notice what winter did while you were hibernating:
“You have to notice which trees look fragile, which corner store has changed their window display, which neighbor has a new rug. People wave their hands more than they talk.”
There's even a modern addition to the holiday called the Low Battery Pledge. Essentially, from noon until the end of the holiday, you're trying to keep your phone's charge level at 20% or less without letting it die.
“It's a symbolic constraint that changes behavior. You stop doomscrolling because you can't afford to. You stop responding to work messages because you can claim that you're saving battery power. You take fewer photos and end up being more present.”
The holiday peaks around midday with a series of “Borrowed Warm Stops” where neighbors open up their homes for 10-minute warming breaks. At each stop there is a prompt – something like: “What are you quietly proud of that you survived?” although no one is obliged to speak. You warm your hands, drink your drink, and leave before anyone can continue the conversation.
Throughout the day you can also try Thawmark's signature Steamglass drink. ChatGPT explained that Steamglass is:
“Hot water is poured over something aromatic, but not fancy – orange zest, slices of ginger, a sprig of rosemary… specially served in a transparent glass or mug, because the whole ritual is to watch the cloud swirl as it swells. You don't go with him. You are standing still. You feel the steam. You take one sip and for a second you pretend that winter has won. Then you laugh and do another one.”
The day ends with the Check Out Clap: three claps, one long exhale, and a silly sound of your choice, such as a kazoo or a squeaky toy. It's brief and frivolous, but “strangely touching.”
Celebrating Clatter
Ringing is the opposite of subtle. It all starts with Furniture Migration.
“Every family should move their heaviest piece of furniture… into a room where it doesn't belong at all. Seeing a bed in the kitchen or a dining table in the hallway is an eye-opener.”
At noon, participants perform the “Echo of the Vessel”, during which everyone takes their largest empty pots, scoops up frosty air from the street and throws it into the corners of their rooms. At the same time, they strike the side of the ship once – a single loud metallic sound to “shake off the dust” from the silence.
All day long, people shuffle around the house in thick socks, creating a low, constant rustling noise. The house becomes a friction machine. If Toumark is soft social choreography, then Clatter is staged absurdism.
This includes the signature Snap-Block plate. According to Gemini, Snap-Block is:
“A dense, frozen hunk of savory broth, root vegetables, and copious amounts of black pepper and ginger… You break off the frozen soup 'shards' with a small hammer or heavy knife… and suck up the spicy, icy fragments until they melt in your mouth. This is a sharp and sharp intention. This sensation is intended to “wake up the throat” and contrast with the sensual flatness of late winter.”
Children's parties
One way to find out how well the holidays are going is to compare the experience for children compared to adults. For children, Taumark becomes scavenger day. While marching, children participate in the “Token Hunt”:
“They are challenged to find the 'best' winter token, which in children's logic means the most dramatic: the curliest branch, the smoothest rock, the leaf that looks like a monster's ear.”
During the heat stop they play Heat Map:
“Children are given a mitten-shaped piece of paper and a piece of chalk and color where they feel warmest in the house… It also teaches them to notice comfort as something that can be found and shared.”
Meanwhile, The Clatter is designed to break the rules of everyday life. Children are encouraged to treat home as a fortress:
“They are allowed – and encouraged – to climb over 'migrated' furniture… Since the house is 'broken' for the day, the usual 'don't jump on that' rules go away. In other words: maximum resolution. The house becomes a playground.”
At Taumark, children are taught to observe and reflect, to notice changes in their environment and to feel responsible for their comfort. At Clatter, they are taught to break rules for joy, to redirect energy through play and destruction. Both approaches understand childhood well, although they emphasize different aspects of it.
AI holidays
Both AI models were able to create a new holiday and set of traditions for winter. Remarkably, they both found ways to associate emotional patterns with them. ChatGPT and Gemini have demonstrated that they can model culture through storytelling.
Not that there aren't differences between them. Thawmark from ChatGPT offers small and believable rituals. In “The Clatter,” Gemini took a more over-the-top approach. It rewards volume, inversion and physical destruction.
Of course, no AI actually senses these things. But it's amazing how they both look at how people deal with long winters and come up with holidays to deal with it.
If you need a break from winter with a cup of hot water and a shared laugh at your own awkwardness, Tomark might just be your new favorite holiday. If you need to scream into the trash can and rearrange furniture, The Clatter has you covered.
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