Kate Elsley (right) with wife Tanya Washburn (left)
Anna Kuperberg
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Anna Kuperberg
This story is part of the My Unsung Hero series from the Hidden Brain team. It features stories of people whose kindness left a lasting impression on someone.
In 2008, Kate Elsley was working as a nurse practitioner in Redwood City, a suburb of San Francisco. Every day she got to work from her home in the city: first she took the train, and walked the rest of the way to the office. Most days the trip was uneventful. But in 2008, Proposition 8 had just been announced. It was a ballot measure aimed at outlawing same-sex marriage in California, and now her commute was lined with sign after sign in support of the ban.
“It was very emotional for me to walk past businesses or people's homes that had signs supporting Proposition 8 because I always thought, 'Why do they hate me?' – Elsley said.
She found herself imagining what it would be like to confront businesses and homeowners displaying Proposition 8 signs.
“I would like to walk up to the front door and just introduce myself and say, ‘This is my face. I'm gay and I love my future wife. And why do you think it’s abnormal for us to have the same rights as you?”
But one cold morning, Elslie stepped off the train and saw an elderly man standing silently on the platform opposite her. He held a sign that said he was against Proposition 8.
“I was so impressed that he was brave enough to go out on a cold morning when he could have stayed home where it was nice and warm and stood there by himself,” Elsley remembers.
Afraid that she would be late for work, she couldn't stop and thank him.
“But I’m so, so grateful to him. It was such an insecure time to love what I did and feel like people were against us and actively campaigning to take away something that I knew would make me happy.”
Elsley and her wife have been married for 17 years. But Elsley will never forget that cold morning in 2008.
“To this day, when someone talks about an act of kindness, it usually brings tears to my eyes and I wish I could go back and meet that gentleman and say thank you. It was such an act of support and it really touched me deeply.“
My Unsung Hero is also a podcast. — new episodes come out every Tuesday. To share your unsung hero's story with the Hidden Brain team, record a voice note on your phone and send it to [email protected].
