Endometriosis dating – Freezing eggs, fatigue and unsexy topics

It was only their third date when Sophie and her new love interest Dillon visited a fertility clinic.

The couple has already discussed intimacy with a chronic illness, egg freezing and other “non-sexual topics.”

For 29-year-old Sophie Richards, those early conversations were just part of the daunting prospect of finding love when you have endometriosiswhich can cause infertility.

This condition means that cells similar to those in the lining of the womb (womb) grow in other parts of the body, which can lead to symptoms such as menstrual cramps, fatigue, and lower abdominal and back pain.

When Sophie first met her now-fiancé, Welsh rugby international Dillon Lewis, she felt like she had to lead the way.

At the time, she was freezing her eggs, a process she began because of potential fertility issues due to endometriosis.

“It can be very difficult, especially if you have endometriosis or something chronic, and also with infertility issues, which I have struggled with,” Sophie said.

“How can you bring this to someone new and hope it doesn’t scare them off?”

Even though she felt uncomfortable, she spoke about it shortly after the meeting.

“I had to explain… about injections and surgeries and all these very unsexy topics,” she added.

Endometriosis is a gynecological condition associated with menstruation in which tissue similar to the lining of the uterus is found in other parts of the body, such as the ovaries, fallopian tubes, pelvis, intestines, vagina and intestines.

Symptoms may include pelvic pain, heavy periods, pain during or after sex, and are associated with infertility.

It affects around one in 10 women in Wales.

There is currently no cure for the disease, but there are treatments to help relieve symptoms, including surgery to remove tissue or parts of organs affected by endometriosis.

Sophie thanks her fiancé Dillon for his support and desire to learn about the disease.

“I received many hours of training from Sophie as part of the G&T because Sophie was so open about it,” he said.

“It made learning a lot easier, but she didn’t mind the stupid questions either.”

The 29-year-old Dragons player from Newport, who has 57 caps for Wales, said asking questions and being open was key to offering partnership support.

“Just try to help in any way that I can, like I always say, ‘Is there anything I can do?’ and 99% of the time I say no, but at least I like to ask… and grab a hot water bottle every now and then,” he added.

Sophie, who is now a women's health advocate and podcaster, said being around someone who supports you no matter what is vital.

“I honestly don't think I could be with someone who doesn't want to understand what endometriosis is, because I'll end up living with it forever. This is a chronic disease,” she added.

She wants more women to feel confident talking about the impact of endometriosis on sex and intimacy, although she acknowledges how scary it can be.

“I'm an open book now… six years ago I couldn't even say the word 'period' without blushing,” she added.

Natalie Jones from Cardiff has endometriosis. adenomyosis and is currently awaiting a fourth surgery.

The 35-year-old, who was diagnosed in 2018, had recently started dating again after a period of poor health.

The graduate student described herself as a “spontaneous person” but said she is often so exhausted that she fears canceling dates might give the wrong impression that she is untrustworthy or, worse, uninterested.

“If you're just tired sometimes and have to cancel plans, especially in a new relationship, it can sound like you're just pushing someone away, or you're being unreliable, or you're ruining someone,” she added.

The academic researcher said this can be particularly difficult when it comes to sex, with the added worry of heavy bleeding or pain.

“You don't want to create the expectation that intimacy will happen if you discuss it too early, but then if one thing leads to another when you bring it up, you'll stop halfway and say, 'Oh, by the way,'” she said.

The avid traveler and gym goer said while watching friends start to wind down can be difficult, she doesn't let it affect her.

“It's something I can't control, but it doesn't take away from who I am, so if I'm dating or talking to someone who isn't willing to learn or understand…then it's probably not the right person anyway,” she added.

Pelvic health physiotherapist Pauline-Claire Callaghan said that while there has been progress in open discussions about menstrual health and menopause in recent years, there is still more to be done, particularly in relation to sexual pain associated with endometriosis.

A medical professional with a special interest in endometriosis said sexual pain in the disease can be complex and may be related to the location of scar tissue, adhesions and fibrosis, or to overactivity, tension or inflammation of the pelvic floor muscles.

“There are effective conservative treatments, including pelvic physical therapy, but there is a gap in care and many barriers to addressing sexual pain with endometriosis, including lack of awareness/understanding of available support, shame, embarrassment, cultural issues and issues accessing care,” she said.

Fay Farthing from Endometriosis in the UK said the disease could have a “huge impact” on people's sex lives and relationships.

“Sex can be a difficult topic to discuss with partners, especially if you're new to a relationship, so it's vital to continue public conversations about sex and endometriosis to break down the stigma,” she said.