DEAR ABBY: Young adult living his best life in parents’ home

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Dear Abby: Our 20 year old son works full time and lives with us. He doesn't do any housework and doesn't pay us anything, not even car insurance (which he agreed to pay for). Then he brought his girlfriend here without permission, and after that his dog. He has problems with anxiety and depression, which he believes he treats with marijuana.

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When we try to talk to him about his plans for the future, helping around the house or paying for anything, it turns into a screaming match with him punching the walls. How do we get through this without a fight? That is, we could kick them out, but we are afraid that then he will move to a bad area. He's angry because his friends were supposed to go to college and he showed ZERO interest and got no grades. Your thoughts will be appreciated. — ANNOYED MOM IN TEXAS

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DEAR MOTHER: Do you want your son to continue to live with you forever and not take any responsibility for this privilege? If the answer is yes, continue doing nothing. If the answer is no, then it's time for you and your husband to finally come forward.

Tell your son that by now he should have saved enough money from work to put a down payment on an apartment for him, his girlfriend, and his dog. Give him time to move. If he has to live in a less desirable area, so be it. When he starts hitting the walls, tell him to stop immediately, and if he doesn't, call the police. You will be doing you all a favor.

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PS If your son has not used marijuana with a doctor's prescription, he is breaking Texas law by using it to self-medicate.

Dear Abby: I'm just over 30 and have decided to lead a life without children. I believe that having a child in the current state of affairs (rising costs, social injustice, crime, global warming, etc.) is unkind and irresponsible. But I'm worried that I won't have anyone to look after me if (or when) I become immobilized due to age. What are your thoughts? — Anxious Millennial

DEAR MILLENNIALS: Oh, I'm SO glad you asked me this! Having a child and hoping it will ensure that you will have someone to take care of you in old age is not old age insurance. There are no guarantees, as anyone who has read my column for any length of time can attest. As you get older, YOU will need to provide for your retirement by consulting with an attorney or financial planner to make sure you have enough assets to ensure you get the help you think you'll need.

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Dear Abby: My husband and I file taxes together every year. I work, so does he. But when we get our tax refund, he doesn't give me a dime. How should I feel or what should I do about it? — STILL WAITING IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR, I'M STILL WAITING: If you work and contribute financially, you should be entitled to a portion of this reimbursement. What your husband refuses to share with you is selfish and controlling. How should you feel? The words frustration and anger come to mind. What does he do with the money returned? Can he apply this to next year's taxes? What you should “do about it” depends on how persistent you are willing to be.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jean Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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