DEAR ABBY: Smoker gave up addiction cold turkey nearly 50 years ago

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Dear Abby: I often see advertisements about how to quit smoking. I would like to share my success story in overcoming this dirty habit in hopes that it will help someone else.

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I smoked four packs of unfiltered cigarettes every day. At 37 years old, I realized that I wanted to quit smoking. I set a goal to stop after a month and that day went cold turkey. I am now almost 86, and since that day I have no longer had the desire to smoke. People, be brave. Be strong and see it through. I hope this helps someone else live a long life. – FREE IN WEST VIRGINIA

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DEAR FREE: Congratulations. You are lucky that your heavy smoking did not cause you any health problems later in life. I'm glad going cold turkey worked so well for you. There are products available today (gummies, patches, etc.) to ease the discomfort associated with nicotine withdrawal.

For decades, the American Cancer Society has sponsored an event called the Great American Smokeout. The theory behind this is that if someone can abstain from smoking for ONE DAY, he or she can continue to do so for two days, a week, a month, etc. Many former smokers quit smoking this way. This year's Smokeout will take place on Thursday, November 20th. For those of you who decide to give it a try, I wish you good luck and good health.

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Dear Abby: I have a close friend who I think needs help. She is a loving and caring mother, wife, teacher and friend. Because her husband had health problems, she retired early so she could be at home and care for him. She recently admitted to me that they haven't been intimate for almost 20 years.

Two years ago she began a romantic relationship with a man she knew. She says they both lack physical affection in their marriage and they got together to fill that void. I was shocked and disappointed. Why would she risk everything for a hayride?

How can I remain a supportive friend if I philosophically disagree with what she is doing? She knows I don't approve of her actions and we haven't discussed the issue since she told me. — A DISAPPOINTED FRIEND IN MASSACHUSETTS

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DEAR FRIEND: You describe this woman as a loving, caring mother, wife and friend. Her husband may have been impotent for the past 20 years. It is possible to offer support to a friend without judging her predicament, and I encourage you to do so. If you prefer that she not discuss her affair with you, tell her so.

Dear Abby: I'd like to try to understand something. What happened to basic politeness? When did it become acceptable to ignore a friend's phone call, text, or email? And for all those people who cancel plans with their friends (and you know who you are) just because you “got a better deal”, that's RUDE! What do you think about this? — DISPOSED IN CANADA

DEAR OFFICERS: Honestly, I think if something happens more than once, it's time to reconsider how close these people really are to you and plan accordingly.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jean Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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