DEAR ABBY: Sister can’t stop stealing things during visits

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Dear Abby: I I have problems with my sister, who visits me on average once a month. She lives four hours away from here. Her friend and her husband accompany her. They are my only company. I used to enjoy them, but not anymore. Things always go missing from my house after their visits – a hairbrush, my dog's electric nail file, random dishes and plates, rat traps, bags of laundry detergent, craft supplies from the dollar store, etc.

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Abby, I hid the laundry detergent bags, but she found them, and I knew she took them. When I confronted her, she angrily denied it and insisted that I was accusing her of something she had never done and would never do. When I told her about the beads, she said that she had never seen them and didn't I know what I was talking about.

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After that I didn't We've been dating her for about three months. We made up and she did it again! Her husband knows. Earlier I set a trap for her friend and she didn't steal something. My sister would bring dirty laundry with her to wash at my house to save on water and electricity bills. I put an end to this. What can I do about it? — ACT OF DISAPPEARING IN NEW MEXICO

Dear Disappearing Act: Assuming that friend who always accompanies your sister remains safe during these visits, only “Sissy” remains. Has she always been frivolous or is she stealing something recently? If this happened recently, talk to her husband and tell him that you are worried about her.

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Suggest that she undergo a neurological examination by her doctor to check for signs of dementia or any other brain disease. If she is discharged, she will develop another condition called kleptomania, in which sufferers cannot resist the urge to steal. This can ONLY be fixed if they are willing to admit there is a problem and decide to do something about it.

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Dear Abby: My husband and I are in a difficult situation. Earlier this year, our 12-year-old granddaughter celebrated her birthday. It was a big holiday. Her other grandparents offered her the choice of $100 or an overnight stay at a hotel with a pool. She chose night. Several months have passed and no hotel stay is planned. The rest of her grandchildren live well, busy and chaotic life. Our granddaughter told me she felt hurt, disappointed and a little angry. We had a good talk and I feel that she I now understand better how adults sometimes forget how quickly time flies.

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In the meantime, my husband and I would like to put a $100 bill under her pillow and maybe calm down her feelings for her other grandparents. We need to know if this is a smart thing to do or if we should leave it alone. We understand that Not our problem, but it pains us to see her get disappointed after waiting patiently for her birthday gift. What do you offer? — GRANDMOTHER KNOWS BETTER

DEAR GRANDMOTHER: You are wonderful people and I understand your desire to cover for other grandparents. However, I don't think you should do this. Your granddaughter is rightfully disappointed, but she needs to understand that sometimes people Not keep your promises. If she does, it might be less of a shock when she a little older.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jean Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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