DEAR ABBY: Friend’s presence made father’s funeral more stressful

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Dear Abby: My close friend Annie came to my father's funeral. She only met him a couple of times. Although I understood that she was doing this to be close to me, I felt responsible for her since she did not know anyone there. I sat her down with me, but I tried to communicate with friends and family. didn't have I saw it a long time ago. I ended up not being able to talk to everyone because the funeral was so emotional. I was glad she came, but I wanted her didn't have was there.

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I prefer to avoid funerals because I get emotional. Not yet his Immediate family members, I prefer to remember the deceased as they were and keep these images as my last memories.

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My dilemma: Annie's mom has health problems and there will come a time when it will pass. I've met her a few times, but we're not close. I feel like I should go to the funeral so I can be there for Annie like she was with me, but I'd rather remember her mom for who she was. So, do I go out for her and have an emotional meltdown, or do I get back together with her in a few days, just the two of us, and that's what I'd want her to do for me? — IT’S SAD IN ANY CASE IN THE EAST

DEAR GARDEN: Please accept my condolences for the loss of your father. I can only imagine how emotional you and your family were at this funeral. Annie wanted to support me and I Not I think it would be helpful to point out that her presence distracted you from talking with many of the assembled relatives.

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I think you need to ask Annie these questions. (“Do you need me to be present for emotional support at your mother’s services, or would you prefer that we meet—just the two of us—in a few days?”) They are important. Take her example reaction, but be prepared for when this happens is actually happeningher feelings may be different.

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Dear Abby: My 11 year old daughter “Emma” has a group of six to eight friends that she has played with at school, scouts, parties, etc. for over three years. Eight months ago, one of the girls, “Charlotte”, had a sleepover and Emma wasn't invited. She was in great pain and cried. I told her that she wouldn't always be invited to everything and maybe there this was the limit that Charlotte could afford.

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Since then, whenever there is an event that Emma knows Charlotte will be at, my daughter refuses to go. For eight months, she deliberately skipped some parties and scouting events. Otherwise, they still seem to stick together at school. How can I help my daughter understand that she is only harming herself? — SENSITIVE MOTHER IN OHIO

DEAR MOTHER: It's time to teach your daughter what she is doesn't must be “liked” by everyone she interacts with, however she may have to get along with them. If she can learn this lesson, it will be benefit her when she is in school and beyond. Tell Emma you don't like seeing her punish. myselfthinking it would hurt Charlotte, even though Charlotte might not notice her absence at all. Although Emma is only 11 years old, it's time for her to grow up.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jean Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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