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Dear Abby: I have a pursuit. I know where this comes from. My mother repeatedly told me how ugly I was in childhood. Recently I was going through hard times. My sister, for whom I was responsible, had a huge stroke and later died. I had to take care of her, and I was indignant at this. When she had a stroke, I started memories, and not all memories were good.
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I came across a photograph of my family, made when I was 10 years old. My older sisters and parents were also in the photograph. When I showed a photograph to my friend, her reaction left me without a speech. She practically threw the phone and said: “What a ugly family! Your mother is ugly and fat, and your father is also ugly! ” She continued the same. In addition, she gives a good friend.
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I cannot overcome what she said because I know that I am ugly and hate to be like that. But if we were so offensive, why would she be friends with me? We are now over 60, so “beauty” is in the back window. But how can I cope with her when she asks why I became so remote without going further? – stunned in Florida
Dear puzzled: Sorry, but “kind and giving” people do not make unpleasant comments about the appearance of the relatives of their friend. What she did was unpleasant, and your reaction is normal. If your “friend” asks why you were deleted recently, tell her how you were shocked by her offensive comments about the family picture. Not everyone is blessed with physical beauty, but many people are considered beautiful from kindness, which shines from the inside.
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Dear Abby: I analyzed my DNA and subsequently received a message from a young woman (unfamiliar) on the site. Its DNA corresponds to the level of niece. In her message it was said that she did not know her father, and her mother was not clear on this issue. Her mother “met a guy” back in early 1990. She was born later in the same year. She believes that I was her uncle and asked if I know what kind of relatives -men who may be her father. I replied, telling her that I would return to her.
When I spoke with my brother, he confirmed the details in her message about a meeting with her mother, who was a connection. The news about the daughter, whom he never knew about, is overwhelming for him, because he currently has a child, and his wife is pregnant again. (He also has an adult daughter from his previous marriage.) I have not yet answered this woman, because I expect my brother’s decision on how he wants to continue. What is your advice on how I should answer my “niece”? – Maybe uncle in Texas
Dear, maybe, an uncle: From this moment you should not be an intermediary. Answer the young woman, telling her that you give her contact information to your brother. As soon as you did this, you must let him decide how to deal with it from there.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother Polin Phillips. Contact the dear Abby in Dearabby.com or PO BOX 69440, LOS -ANGELES, CA 90069.
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