DEAR ABBY: Boyfriend’s adult daughter seems to be calling the shots

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Dear Abby: I have been dating a man for 2.5 years. He divorced; I'm a widow. We get along well and enjoy many activities together. The problem is his 31-year-old daughter. She is very rude and unkind to me. He tells me it's not me; she will treat any female companion it's his way.

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As the holidays approached, I talked to him about our plans. For the past two years, his ex-wife and daughter controlled most of the meetings, claiming that I was not invited to join them for Christmas Eve dinner. I Not I want to be control how his ex and daughter, but I would like us to be part of our plans as a couple.

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At this moment, He unable to decide what to do. He trying to improve relations with his daughter, but I almost sure This there won't be improve until she ready to accept it dad have another partner in your life.

I want this relationship to work out. We're talking about living together and possibly getting married, but I not sure if we should think about this until his situation with his daughter improves. Any advice? — IN SEARCH OF INTEGRATION IN CALIFORNIA

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DEAR SEEKERS: Your gentleman friend's daughter should not have been allowed to disrespect any woman he dated. His mistake was ceding his power to someone who was emotionally immature and unwilling to see his father in a happy, healthy relationship.

Give him time to decide how he is going to spend the holidays. If this Not with you, take a vacation during this time. You have the good sense to put your life together until he resolves this issue, preferably with the assistance of a licensed mental health professional.

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Dear Abby: Although the saying goes, “No man is an island,” I beg to differ as I am married to one. My husband has virtually no patience with anyone, including his family. He was always negative, and with age his condition became 10 times worse. Over the past 15 years, my husband has alienated most of his (our) friends to the point where he no longer has any contact with them. He literally walks away from them in public.

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Although I know many people today are super narcissistic, I feel you will have to come to terms with some of today's bullshit. I I'm not super social myself, but his rudeness was out of control. Our social life is zero. Maybe it's depressionHe on many medications). His makes me tired and I frightened I diving with him. Is there a solution? – ALSO DOWN

DEAR GOING: Since your husband has mental health issues, this should be discussed with your doctor. He may benefit from other medications and talk therapy if he agrees to it. Please consider talking to someone for yourself to help you decide if you want to spend the rest of your life in such isolation. Nothing will change if you Not become proactive.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jean Phillips, and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips. Contact dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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