Inspirational Thought of the Week:
Take this job and shove it
I don't work here anymore
My woman is done, gone
And took all the reasons
I worked for
You better not try to get in my way
When I walk out the door
Take this job and shove it
I don't work here anymore
— “Take This Job and Shove It,” Johnny Paycheck
Here at Bottom 10 headquarters, located behind a wall of industrial fans used to protect Pete Thamel's Coach News Carousel phone and laptop from overheating and exploding like the Death Star, we're following what might seem like a good plan for anyone and everyone with even the slightest line of intersection with the Venn diagram of college football: wear a hard hat and hide under tables while everyone around them screams: “Wood!” as another FBS head coach falls.
At least eight Power 4 coaches had been relieved of their duties as of this week's rankings. That number rises to an even dozen when you factor in the jobs lost in the 6 League Gang, as we always do here.
It's only fitting that this all comes to a head just before Halloween. Because a year ago I dressed up as a college football coach, circa 2007. “I am a man! I'm 40! Mike Gandy. I went a little overboard that night and didn't realize that I had placed my metal folding chair right over the smoldering fire and ended up burning my Cowboy Orange ass because, yes, I, like Mike Gundy, unknowingly found myself in the hot seat.
Oklahoma State and Brian Kelly have a chance to do the funniest thing ever. pic.twitter.com/SFab173DGe
— Arrogant Nation✌🏻 (@FightOnRusty) October 27, 2025
With apologies to Ball State wide receiver Trey Firestone, former UCLA kicker Joseph Firebaugh, Syracuse defensive lineman Kevin Jobity and Steve Harvey, here are the bottom ten players ranked for Week 9.
The Minuetmen took a break from the Pillow Fight week marathon with a loss to five-win Central Michigan. They've now reached a two-game stretch of what seemed like a surefire PFOW doubleheader in the preseason, but Akromonius managed to win three games. However, the next opponent, Northern Ill-ugh-noise, hovered all season between a waitlist bottom 10 and a true bottom 10, which even earned us mentioned in a recent article about the team's struggles since the win over Notre Dame, which occurred on September 7, 2024, but with the Huskies' 8-11 record since then, it's more like September 7, 1924.
Speaking of pillow fights, with all due respect to the upcoming Halloween costume contest the Bearkats will be hosting with their Cajun cousins from Louisiana, our focus is already on cruising out west next weekend to compete with…
The Beavs spent their bye week celebrating their Week 8 win over the Lafayette Leopards and resting up for the first phase of their home-and-home season with fellow 2Pac member Wazzu. But in between those two games are matches with Sam Houston and another top ten flirt, Livin' on Tulsa Time.
The Woof Pack's last six games have been lost by margins of 1, 15, 3, 34, 2 and 21. So expect this weekend's trip to Utah State to be a single-digit loss and next week's visit from San No Se State to be a double-digit loss. This is the best roller coaster in Reno since my parents put me and my brother in the Circus Circus hotel-casino in 1979 while Mom ran downstairs to play the new Burt Reynolds-themed slot machines.
After spending more than a decade working tirelessly to somehow successfully restore Notre Dame's former public image, which was as huggable as a cactus, Brian Kelly hired an image consultant last summer to help him surpass his best efforts. Unfortunately, this was a former NASCAR PR guy from the late 2000s. It's like hiring one of the guys from the Titanic's observation tower to help you get your yacht out of the shipping dock.
Not Southern Georgia State lost back-to-back Pillow Fight of the Week to Not Georgia State and Sacking South Alabama. It was the first time a bottom-ten team had accomplished such a feat since…checking records…Penn State last month.
I love this time of year on cable TV because all the channels start doing late-night Halloween marathons midweek. For example, Hulu shows all the Alien movies. Or AMC is showing an episode of Friday the 13th. Or ESPN channels showing Charlotte 49ers football.
Speaking of things popping out of the dark and scaring the living daylights out of us, be sure to take a flashlight with you in the shade of week 13. That's when MTSU will host Sam Houston State.
If Wake Forest can play at North Carolina and NC State can play at Virginia as non-conference games against conference opponents, then why can't we add a non-ACC, Bottom 10-sanctioned #goacc Mega Bowl in mid-December between the BC Headache Powders and the 2-5 UNC Chapel Bills? I imagine a group of New Englanders at the beginning of their Sam Adams-fueled winter hibernation might have something to say to Coach Belichick if he came to Newton for the holidays.
Full disclosure: We were going to put Livin' on Tulsa Time in this spot after Tulsa lost to Temple, a month after losing to Tulane, meaning TU lost to both TU and TU second in OT. But then we remembered that one of TU's TWs (two wins) came against OSU, which had just lost to TTU by 42.
Waiting list: Living on Tulsa time, CO, Cant-ookie, Arcanso, South Alabama layoffs, San No Se State, UTEPid, Worst Virginia, Northern illu-noise, Emu Emus, Wisconsin Badgers, Akronmonius, UNC Chapel Law, USC-Notre Dame series finale.
