As a multimillionaire and dad of 4, I’m making sure all of my kids have careers before I reveal the extent of my wealth to them

• Jean-Baptiste Vautier is an investor, philanthropist and chairman of several companies.

• He wants his estate to focus on influence rather than ego, and he achieves that with these five strategies.

• This article is part of “The Great Transfer”, a series that highlights the mechanisms of wealth transfer and the human priorities behind them.

This essay, as stated, is based on a conversation with Jean-Baptiste Vautier, who lives in the UK and is the founder of Vauthier Family Office. It has been edited for length and clarity.

I had a family, at least in part, to create what I never had: a home with love. My parents were not good people – let's leave it at that. We were middle classand although they had money to support me, they had none, financially or otherwise.

That's part of where my drive comes from. I was bullied at school and penniless in college. I had to go my own way.

Today I have four wonderful children, two grandchildren and a loving wife. This is my biggest success. I had it too financial success both in the UK and US, leading companies and investors.

While I live in the UK, I regularly travel to the US to be with my daughter and granddaughters. We often spend the entire summer holidays there to get together with the whole family.

I've always been shy about publicly naming my wealth, but I will say this: I am an ultra-high net worth individual as defined by the banks. (Editor's note: Financial institutions generally define an ultra-wealthy person as someone who has at least $30 million into investment assets.)

I want my estate to emphasize impact, not ego. This is how I do it with the help of my family and charity.

1. I protect my children from my wealth.

Today I am 56 and my children are 21, 24, 26 and 33. They still don’t know the extent of my fortune.

I wanted mine children to feel normal and not experience the negative consequences that too much wealth can have. I didn't travel business class with them, live in a huge house, or send them to fancy summer camps.

However, my wife and I realized that we could not completely protect our children from their wealth—that’s just how the world works. However, we agreed not to share our wealth until all the children were adults and working.

My youngest is finishing his master's degree and will start I work full time in the fall, so it will happen soon. I'm a little apprehensive about it because I don't know how it's going to go.

We always told our children not to count on inheritance. They work in jobs that pay enough: my two children earn around £60,000 a year (about $80,000). I'm glad they've built solid and successful lives for themselves.

2. I write down my values.

When my children were young, I taught them three family values: honesty, courage, and compassion. As they grew older, I introduced two more principles: humility and honesty.

When my oldest was a teenager, we created a family charter that outlined these values. Six of us signed it and we all still have a copy.

Whether you run your children, a company or a charity, writing down your values is important. This creates a guiding document for future generations, ensuring that your legacy remains true to its original intent and does not weaken over time.

3. I focus on one specific impact.

To truly make a difference, you need to focus. My charity focuses on access to education.

This is a fairly narrow question, but I still have a lot of decisions to make: do I invest in access to education in France, where I was educated? In the UK, where did my children go to school? Or in the USA, where my grandchildren are growing up?

When I evaluate where I can have the greatest influenceI look at the sustainability of the organization.

I want to know that my money will continue to provide value over time. Otherwise, it’s like throwing money into the fire: the heat will last for an hour, but there will be no lasting changes.

4. I give anonymously

Too often I see ego-driven philanthropy: people want their name on the side of a building or in a public view. Giving will always involve the ego because giving feels good. But I try to actively counter this by donating anonymously.

I created a scholarship at the private high school my children attended. The school wanted to name it after me, but I refused – I said I would prefer it to just be called the school scholarship fund.

They then suggested that they should at least communicate this to recipients so they know who is funding their education. I didn't want that either – these students deserve to be there and shouldn't feel obligated to me.

5. I understand how difficult estate planning is.

My the family is incredibly close: This is my greatest legacy. Despite this, there are real generational differences between us.

Where I see purpose, my children may not. I have not yet figured out how we will deal with this: I think it will happen in many negotiations over the coming years and decades.

Even in a family with so much love and trust, estate planning will be one of the biggest challenges.

Read the original article at Business Insider