Amaya Papaya Made Me Feel Seen as a “Too Much” Dominicana

I've never been a big fan of reality TV, especially when it comes to dating shows. And honestly, I don't mean that in an arrogant or smug way—it's just always been junk food for my brain. However, upon learning that Season seven of Love Island USA star Amaya “Papaya” Espinal is the movie PopsugarGood Person of the YearI began to regret not joining Love Island like everyone else did – especially after finding out that the crowd favorite was none other than a fellow Dominican girl from New York who had no qualms about being “too much.”

Espinal, a 26-year-old Dominican from Brooklyn and cardiac nurse, resonates with viewers for good reason. Of course, we all loved her funny one-liners and the way she speaks in metaphors (my favorite was when she said, “Last time I checked, I had 10 toes—not a toe missing. So I'll stand on my 10 toes in business.”) In Dominican culture, many of us are raised on refrains and sabias—sayings and proverbs that convey the humor and wisdom of our people—so Espinal having a metaphor or saying for everything felt right. This only added to her attractiveness.

But the truth is, what struck me most about Espinal was how unapologetic she was—and remained—throughout the season, despite haters calling her “too strong.” It took her a while to find a match, as members such as Ace Green, Austin Shepard and Zai Srakaev considered her “too emotional”, “too passionate” or “too affectionate”. This is what inspired some of her most iconic one-liners, such as: “God forbid I'm a sensitive gangstaAs a sensitive gangsta, I immediately saw myself in Espinal. Whether she realized it or not, she represented all the Latinas—especially Dominican girls—who grew up being told we were “too much.”

A year ago I launched an editorial package on Juntos called “I'm too muchI was always called “too loud”, “too talkative”, “too sensitive”, “too passionate” and “too opinionated” – much of the same thing that Espinal was accused of.

Growing up, many of the things I was told were “too much” were framed as traits that would turn men off, because in Dominican culture, men are the prize and men are the goal. They are literally raised to be kings and young girls are raised to have their lives revolve around them. So, when I saw Espinal berated by men for calling them “babies” or simply for being affectionate and loving, I felt for her.

Espinal represents a modern Dominican American woman who is not afraid to take up space and has absolutely no interest in dimming the lights for the sake of anyone's comfort, especially men.

I saw myself in her, a 26-year-old young man. When the season started, I remember someone even said to me, “Hey, there's a Dominican girl on Love Island who kind of looks like you and your sister.” This is true. We have similar facial features, skin color and light brown-green eyes. She reminds me a lot of the younger Jo, the one who wore her hair sleek, straight and wore high heels for every occasion. The difference is that 26-year-old me often had to hide in my shell—put myself down to make others feel comfortable. Espinal, on the other hand, bears no guilt for taking up space and showing himself as his most authentic self. For a Dominican girl and native New Yorker, this path isn't always the easiest, but it's definitely the bravest.

Even the online criticism about her speaking style, which she confirmed was due to a speech impediment, hit her hard. For many bilingual Dominican girls in New York City, mispronouncing English words from time to time is common, especially if we grew up hearing our parents mispronounce them (like I did). It has nothing to do with intelligence, education or class. It's cultural. After all, we are a New York subculture. And as someone who grew up in a mansion in the suburbs of Flushing, Queens, but close to both the neighborhood and the projects, what Espinal says wouldn't make anyone in my community bat an eye. This is fine. She's normal.

Espinal represents a modern Dominican American woman who is not afraid to take up space and has absolutely no interest in dimming the lights for the sake of anyone's comfort, especially men. Watching her on the show, I saw how powerful she felt whenever she said something like, “If I'm not your cup of tea, then don't drink it.” There was no way she was willing to change who she was just to make a connection. In fact, it was her authenticity that not only led to her match with Bryan Arenales (though they ultimately broke up) but also made her the star of the show.

Because masculinity is so deeply ingrained in Dominican culture, Dominican women often develop thick skin out of necessity. Yes, Espinal cried and was nervous at times – she is human. But what stood out was that she never once apologized for her emotions. She considered her vulnerability to be her strength. We Dominicans are never taught this.

It wasn't until I turned 30 that I finally came out of my shell and learned to confidently demand space with my voice. In my culture, my community, and even my family, speaking out wasn't always seen as a virtue—it was often seen as a threat to men. A threat to machismo, the very system that allows men to maintain power while forcing women to adapt and go into survival mode.

Dominican feminist and physician Michelle Morales once said: “The most revolutionary thing we can do is tell the truth.loud and clear.” Espinal was on a reality show trying to find love. She could play it safe, go with the flow, as many Latinos are taught – at work, at home, everywhere. But she didn't. She allowed herself to be heard, to be her most sincere, quirky and, in my opinion, most attractive person, while maintaining her position. And in the end, it was because of this that she won.

Johanna Ferreira is the content director of PS Juntos. With over 10 years of experience, Joanna focuses on how intersectional identities are a central part of Latinx culture. She previously spent nearly three years as deputy editor of HipLatina and has freelanced for numerous publications, including Refinery29, The Oprah Magazine, Allure, InStyle and Well+Good. She has also moderated and spoken on numerous panels on issues of Latina identity.