Readers, you disgust me. How many video games do you need? I spend the entire year filling your plate with digital edibles, and then at the end of December you stand up demanding the “pick box” like a flock of gannets.
You know very well that you have a million games in your portfolio. I will not mention anything else until you provide written proof, signed by a judge, that you have completed the Zero Bucket List. Don't look at me like that. This is for your own good. Oh, for God's sake, stop crying. Oh my god, I was just joking. Here are three more video game recommendations (plus three nested alternatives), but that's all you'll get from me until 2026, okay?
White knuckle
Dark Machine's first-person roguelite combines two of my favorite things: a labyrinthine dungeon and a dirty, huge, unkillable Thing that chases you to the surface. It also has terrifying climbing mechanics: you point your cursor and hold buttons to grab onto ledges, trying to rhythmically and efficiently move to the next platform you can walk on before your floating Rayman arms turn red from fatigue.
Some climbs will require the use of pitons driven in as you go, or poles that can be thrown into walls to create crossbars. And as if that weren't enough, there are also “unexplained giant meat hammer” traps and smaller monsters tailored to each level of the world. It's a fascinating space, spanning flowing sewer pipes, residential areas and countless nooks and crannies where you'll find a propped up corpse with the remains of equipment and perhaps a story to tell. If you prefer your bagels hot and sideways, why not try Monster Train 2.
News tower
I admit that this is a kind of description of guilt. I was planning to rewatch News tower back in November, but this was stopped by other things, not least Battlefield 6. A shame, because this would obviously be the perfect opportunity to write a nasty sneaky editorial about the state of journalism, mixed in with some dated anecdotes from my time in the print world.
It's a 2D management simulator where you run a weekly newspaper in 1930s New York after inheriting the business (and its debts) from your shady uncle. The weekly production cycle is simple at first: your telegraph desk provides story ideas. You assign them to reporters, who deliver the resulting reviews to your compositors, who then forward the material to the compositor. On Sunday, you lay everything out on the page, trying to cover a certain number of topics (indicated by shiny tags) to attract as many eyes as possible. On Sunday night, time stands still and you can enjoy the experience of creating a layout worthy of a Pulitzer Prize. If only magazine deadlines were so lenient.
Once you get the basic routine down, it quickly becomes more complex. You'll have to worry about employee morale and travel time inside your expanding office. You must decide how much to increase the sexuality of each title, taking into account the flexibility of your readers. You will have to compete with other newspapers in different districts and withstand pressure from powerful groups such as the military or the mafia. It's a busy but clear simulator with crisp cut-out graphics. If you're more interested in playing a movie mogul, a natural match for it would be Hollywood Animal.
The Necromancer's Tale
Another guilty non-review. Back in July I played 20 hours of a historical fantasy RPG from Psychic Software, but then I had to cover up *checks diary* Microsoft is probably laying off a bunch of people. Let me piece together my scattered memories like picking up a dusty skeleton: this is a very story-driven D&D-style RPG that has the main advantage of focusing on a single character archetype rather than offering the usual spread of classes. You are a recently orphaned nobleman living in an 18th century manor house on the outskirts of a city. While investigating your father's death, you stumble upon a crude spellbook and become embroiled in a secret war between rival practitioners of the dark arts.
Chapters are often dedicated to performing a specific ritual, which will typically require you to gather knowledge and, oh, materials, without arousing the suspicion of the normals. The expansive writing does a great job of conveying the ebb and flow of opinion and trust, with characters picking up on subtleties and reacting to assumptions you might not even be aware of. The spells are fun to learn and master and convey a real sense of being an evil wizard on the rise.
It's not all that simple: there's a lot of leg work and backtracking involved, and fast travel is limited to urban areas. The turn-based group battles are fairly formulaic: I would have preferred some form of free-to-play adventure or puzzle-based combat. However, I would love to play more RPGs as specific and richly written as this one. Perhaps Dracula's next village sim, Psychic? If you'd prefer to delve into the occult from the comfort of your home, check out Horror in Hyruk.
