My five year old is a lot like me. He is outgoing, loves to try new things, and makes friends wherever he goes, from the kid on the playground to the older man who walks the dogs in our neighborhood. Just like me, he love language is receiving gifts.
So his Christmas list is insanely long and expensive. Since he's still big believer in Santa and thinks all the gifts are made in the workshop, I can't use the cost of the items to lower his expectations to a realistic level.
Here's how I'm tempering his expectations this year while still maintaining the magic of Christmas.
I have set a gift limit
Since we are still in the sweet stage believe in the magic of SantaI can't tell my kids that I set a certain dollar amount for the gifts they will receive for the holiday. After all, they still think that all toys are made in Santa’s workshop and that everything is “free.” Oh, I wish it were so.
Instead, I set a limit on the number of gifts Santa will bring him and his brother. We have 10 at home, since most of the requests are for inexpensive toys.
And the logic is also easy to explain: since Santa has to deliver gifts to every child around the world, he can only carry a certain number of gifts per child.
I asked him to make a wish list
As a child, I remember making and revising my holiday wish list, ranking items in order of importance. Often I would cut out images of the desired product from catalogs or newspaper advertisements to really get my point across. Bye Christmas isn't just about giftsI know this is often the most exciting part for kids and I don't want to deprive my five year old of that.
That's why I encourage my kids to make their own list in order of importance so I don't miss anything they really need. This is also a great opportunity to discuss why they may not be getting all the items on their list, and it's important be grateful and appreciative items they receive.
I teach them to give, not just receive.
My boys are 5 and 7 years old, which is the perfect age to start giving gifts to loved ones. They both receive an allowance, so every year I take them to the toy store and have them pick out a small gift for each other with minimal guidance. Not only is it fun to see what they choose for their brother, it also teaches them a different side to holiday gift giving.
We also adopt a family each year through the Salvation Army's Angel Tree program. We put together a family list, go to the local big box store, and I let my boys take the lead on what they think the kids in the family will like. It also opens up a conversation about socioeconomic differences and the importance of giving to others if you are lucky enough to have something else.
I encourage gratitude
This year we are starting show gratitude for what we have at the beginning of the season. Every night at dinner we share what we were grateful for that day.
Last month we also started building a “leaf wall” in our dining room. Every day the boys write something they are grateful for on a piece of paper and we pin it to the wall. We enjoyed making it so much that we plan to continue adding to it for Christmas and New Years.
I always have the right of veto
I'm not sure how far you'll go it's about Santa in your house, but my kids think I'm on a first name basis with this big guy. We correspond a lot. I know his favorite type of cookie and, most importantly, I have final approval on all the gifts Santa brings them.
This is important for two reasons. First, it helps me control my budget. Second, I can easily veto gifts that are not age appropriate, like the super fast dirt bike my 5 year old asked for. Sorry buddy, mom doesn't want any emergency room visits this holiday season.
