If you've ever been in a room with Cardinal Offishall, you know the Canadian rapper has an infectious energy: “I know that when I walk into a room, it's one of those rooms where I'm going to be myself. I’ll be loud, I’ll be boisterous, I’ll be energetic,” he said on the latest episode of the Arlene Dickinson Podcast.
This is an outlook on life that is undoubtedly necessary for a person of his level: in addition to preparing an upcoming EP entitled “Everyday, Once”, the artist is working on opening of a “hair salon for the people” in Toronto and mobilizing support Jamaica after Hurricane Melissa – and all this time he was the father of three children.
“This conversation with Cardinal matters. He understands the core reality that progress can never be guaranteed and that part of what we thought was established in society is in fact slipping away, and that should concern us all,” Dickinson says. “I hope you will take a moment and listen to his thoughts. If it brings something useful to your own life or to the way you show up to people around you, even better. None of us will ever be able to fully understand another person's life experience, but we certainly won't get very far if we stop trying. Compassion, curiosity, and the humility to admit what we don't know are not signs of weakness. Quite the opposite. This is how we move forward together.”
Offishal is the latest guest on “Arlene Is Alone,” where he spoke with an investor and TV personality featured on the show. Dragons' Den about everything from family issues to the experience of being a black man. Continue to check out some of the highlights we learned from their conversation, and watch the full episode of the podcast's second season below.
Yahoo Canada has exclusive access to this season's episodes. Arlene is alonewhich will be published every Wednesday as the podcast goes live. In addition, Arlene Dickinson will be writing a reflection for Yahoo Canada in which she will share personal insights from her conversations.
He lives at ease after a 'tough' year
The musician, who grew up in Scarborough, Ont., said he's had a “tough” year, with many people in his circle dying in recent months. Among the dead was his grandmother, who recently died at the age of 97.
Offishall, whose real name was Jason Harrow (only his grandmother called him by that name), said she was active even in her later years, saying she often spent time gardening, cooking and going to church.
“There are a lot of characters in my family,” he told Dickinson. “We balance grief with joy. We always try to find a way to see the beauty and see the humor in most of what we do.”
Even though he's seen a lot of death in his surroundings this year, he's using that energy to channel some good into his life: “I think what I've taken from this is being able to enjoy every opportunity I have even more. The other thing is that I'm turning 50 in just under a year, and there are so many people that I started with that aren't doing what they love in life… That's why I'm like this, because I think any other path is me not living in gratitude.”
How he learned to navigate difficult relationships
Over the years, Offishall said he had difficult relationships with some family members, which caused him to often fight and even cut ties with some people. Looking back, he realized that there were a lot of people who had “misdirected energy” and in many cases a simple hug like that could have helped.
“Instead of working on what is actually going on inside their body, mind, spirit… they start lashing out. When you start working on yourself, you do shadow work, you do this, you do that, and you have these tools, you start seeing it in other people. And sometimes I didn't like it at first; you need to be a bigger person.”
Offishall compared his emotional intelligence today to that of a construction worker who has dozens of tools on his belt for any job. (Photo illustration: Yahoo Canada; photo: Kennedy Pollard/Getty Images for RBC)
Offishall said that in his experience, many Caribbean people are “stuck in their ways” and stubborn. He added that he and his cousins are glad they are trying to break the cycle, but lamented his belief that many older people live with their trauma until they die.
“They're holding on to the triggers. They are not interested in changing their lifestyle,” the “Dangerous” rapper said, adding that pride is an important thing in Jamaican culture.
But since going to therapy and seeking mentoring, his emotional intelligence has grown significantly. He recalled one relationship with a family member in which they had not seen eye to eye for years. Then one morning he called her out of the blue, expressed his love and asked if they could start over.
“There was no dispute, no comments. She said, 'I'd like that,'” he recalls. “And we’ve been doing well ever since… The more we work on ourselves, the more it benefits everyone in our lives.”
A relative he “couldn’t stand” helped him meet his wife
It was that same family member who introduced Offishall to the woman who is now his wife, Tashi Harrow: “I met my wife through the same family member I couldn’t stand,” he said with a laugh. “She's responsible for a lot of my life now.”
Offishall said he met Harrow in 2001. He remembered that at that time, Harrow, being just a good friend, was studying at Howard University and was going to visit the Pentagon on a class trip. When 9/11 happened, he spent the entire day trying to contact her to see if she was safe.
They now have three children: “One is about to turn 14, one just turned 12, and my daughter is nine-and-a-half, about to turn 36,” he joked, adding that they have no more plans to have children and hinting that he has had a vasectomy.
Offishall and his wife Tasha Harrow have three children. (Photo illustration: Yahoo Canada; photo: Jeremychanphotography/Getty Images)
There are several layers to being black
Offishall also spoke about what it means to be black, especially in today's world, where he says society seems to be regressing. As a child, he recalled his mother teaching him that because of the way black people were portrayed in the media, he needed to be careful in life.
This is what he had to pass on to his children. Even though they attended private schools and received excellent grades, he said they were in environments where they had to take extra precautions because they were black. For example, he will tell his sons to keep their hands in their pockets and pull up their hood if they go into a store.
“Not because they are bad children, but because that’s how society works… When we talk about modern North America, it’s so strange. It feels like we're going back to the '60s,” he said, adding that he was in Chicago over the weekend when ICE was conducting an immigration crackdown and he realized he had to be aware of his surroundings.
When we talk about modern North America, it's so strange. It feels like we're going back to the 60s.
Offishall explained that there is a certain layer that cannot be hidden from people of color. While many people who follow a certain religion or have a certain sexual orientation can often hide those aspects of their identity, he said people can't necessarily hide the color of their skin.
“When I go outside, I can’t hide it,” he said, pointing to his skin. “You can't get rid of it… I'm not saying we go out and see gloom and doom. What I'm saying is this: especially for me, a 6'4″ black guy…my mom had to 'talk' to me when I was younger.”
While some people may explain that they don't have racial bias by saying they don't see color, Offishall encouraged these people to do the opposite: “I want you to see our differences, but our differences don't have to tear us apart.”
He shared that he believes racism, bigotry, and prejudice exist because people are ignorant and uneducated: “I think the more we have these conversations and we see colors, we see beliefs, we see all these different things, and we actually learn and say, “I never knew that.” It's incredible.”
In parting, Offishall suggested that people start caring for each other again. This includes taking time to learn, understand, acknowledge and improve, he noted.
“The world is in a strange place. It's in a strange place and we know so much information,” he said. “But I think with AI, I think with social media, with everyone saying everything all the time, we don't pay as much attention as we used to to get to know each other… Take something, think about it, and figure out how you're going to integrate it into what you do.”
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