DEAR ABBY: Hidden camera captures cruel comments from mom

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Dear Abby: My mother is 80 years old and lives alone after the death of her father. Her memory is failing. Recently she fell and necessary shoulder surgery. This there was no her first fall; she also broke her hip within the last four years.

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I installed a camera in her office to periodically check if it was working. was FINE. I didn't tell your mom about the camera because I knew she was I wouldn't agree. My intention was only to be able to test it. I try to visit her at least four times a week.

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Recently, while watching a video, I overheard a conversation between her and my brother. During the conversation, she made many negative comments about me related to the fact that I am authorized on her checking account. Abby, my income is in the six figures, and my mother lives on 1400 dollars per month. It was very disappointing because I tried it difficult make sure she had what she needed.

I can't start telling you how much it hurt her to hear her negative comments. My mother was never a loving person; however I continue to do great effort to do the right thing when it comes to her. What's your advice? — A REPRESENTATIVE DAUGHTER IN ALABAMA

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DEAR DAUGHTER: Your idea to install a security camera was good, given the fact that she became accident-prone. Talk to your mother. Tell her, without revealing that you have a camera, that you love her but think it's time for your brother to take responsibility for taking care of her financial affairs. It will be interesting to see how she reacts to this proposal. If she's okay with that, you'll know it's time to take a step back.

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Dear Abby: I am a grandmother of three and was especially close With one of the girls. When she was younger reset come visit for a few months. (We live in different states.) She seemed to change when she was in college. Because I there was no After hearing from her, I asked her mom how she was doing.
When she heard about my investigation, my granddaughter became very angry. She said I should ask her if I wanted to know anything about her and not bring her mother into it. When I explained that I only asked her mom because I Not to hear from her, she blocked me on her social networks and no longer returns my messages or phone calls. I really miss her and the relationship we had. Should I let it go or keep trying? — Heartbroken in the South

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DEAR HEART: Your granddaughter may not have wanted her mother to nag her about not having enough contact with you, or she there was no comfortable with her mother acting as a mediator. She may also feel entitled to privacy.

Normally I would advise you to text or call her and apologize. However, since she has blocked these means of communication, try putting your thoughts into a letter (stamped) if you have her address. If this doesn't help, you may need to wait to talk to your granddaughter until she is old enough to realize that she overreacted.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jean Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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