My partner and I got engaged last weekend. (Hic! Hurray! Champagne bottle emoji!) We've been talking about getting engaged for a long time – yes, I knew it would happen. And I'm glad I did because it meant I could book a manicure and plan my shape. It also meant that I could help choose a ring. We settled on a truly stunning (IMO) vintage emerald and diamond ring from Rock 'n' Rose. And when it came to purchasing, it seemed only natural that we would split the bill.
When I tell people that my partner and I decided to split my engagement ring in half, it usually elicits a wide range of reactions: a raised, suspicious eyebrow. “Oh, that's…interesting.” Perhaps even with a thinly veiled look of pity.
This is not what I expect at all every go halfway. Obviously, many women may not want this – and that's okay! But I'm always a little surprised by this reaction. I assumed that many of us modern women could share the cost of the ring. It seemed fair, feminist; a symbol of our partnership, not a reminder of some outdated gender imbalance.
Courtesy of Meg Walters
Courtesy of Meg Walters
After all, when it comes to equality in romantic relationships between men and women in the UK, the situation has changed significantly. Firstly, it became norm for work by both men and women. Research from ClearScore suggests that most couples try to contribute equally when it comes to finances: 40% of couples split their bills in proportion to income, and 51% split everything 50/50. Admittedly, there is still a long way to go in the division of labor and women are reported to 36 hours number of household chores per week, while men do an average of 25. However, this is an improvement on the zero hours that (many) men did 50 years ago.
However, despite the general desire to make heterosexual couples more equal, surprisingly few couples make the same decision to separate the halves when it comes to the engagement ring. Based on 2023 data. study94% of proposing partners paid in full for the engagement ring, with only 2% of couples reportedly choosing to split the cost of the ring.
Again, the more I think about it, the more this statistic backs up. My algorithm (which takes into account the fact that I'm getting engaged) is filled with a surprising number of young women who seem to believe quite fervently that the ring must to be something that a person and only the man pays for it. And, even stranger, the general line of thinking seems to be: the larger the ring he can buy, the better the man.
