How Romantasy Books Have Changed Dating Standards For Women

Once upon a time, a simple “good morning” message from a man was enough reason to go out with him. But now, thanks rise of romanceAs the book genre combines romance and fantasy themes, dating standards have changed.

As more and more women read romance novels like “Onyx Storm” And “A courtyard of thorns and roses,“They fall in love with the male protagonists. And these men aren't just broodingly handsome—they're emotionally intelligent, they slay dragons, cross worlds for love, and provide effortless orgasms. Are there men in the real world? Still learning what the clitoris is.

“These people have definitely raised my standards,” says 29-year-old Taylor Weir. A romance novel reader, Weir says her favorite fictional men put their partner above all others. “I love seeing men pining over women because it shows vulnerability, emotional depth and confidence in one's masculinity” that is missing from her real-life interactions with men, she adds.

For 28-year-old Alyssa Ver, her love for fictional men like Xaden Riorson from The Fourth Wing and Cassian from A Court of Thorns and Roses has also made her less interested in dating. “A lot of fictional men are emotionally intelligent and able to communicate effectively, and while I know a guy in real life can be like that too, I feel like they have to go through a whole lot of work to get there,” she says. “I'm too impatient for that.”

While romance may have begun as a form of escapism, the genre has quickly evolved into something much more powerful. These novels are no longer just a form of entertainment—they have become guidelines for how women deserve to be treated.

Elodie Colliardauthor “Unbearably yours (It was always you)“They need to be understanding, considerate and communicative,” she says. Even as a reader of the genre, she says she wants to read about a man who is “all in” and knows everything about his love interest, including “everything she never thought he would notice.”

It's worth noting that many of these male characters are written by female authors for a female perspective. But Colliard disagrees with those who might argue that romance has raised the bar too high for men. “Desiring a man who listens, has a certain amount of emotional intelligence, and cares about his partner doesn't require too many expectations,” she says. “It’s about meeting your partner’s basic needs.”

The best fictional male characters in romance novels are not perfect. However, they are consistent, show up when they say they should, and put their partners first. In a world where dating apps seem impossible, halos are commonand miscommunication is the norm, it's no wonder these fictional men are more desirable.

Although Colliard is in a healthy relationship, if she had to go on a date again today, she wouldn't do it. “I'd rather spend the evening with my favorite fictional man than go out for drinks with a guy I don't know,” she says. WITH shadow daddies like Xaden, Rhysand and Cassian, I don't blame her. Will men be able to compete in real life? Maybe they should start taking notes.

Taylor Andrews is a senior editor at Popsugar magazine, specializing in topics including sex, relationships, dating, sexual health, mental health, travel and more. With eight years of editorial experience, Taylor has extensive experience in content creation and storytelling. Before joining PS in 2021, she worked at Cosmopolitan.