DEAR ABBY: Teen’s change of surname aggravates her grandparents

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Dear Abby: Our granddaughter Amy, who appears in 4-H, has decided to take her stepfather's last name when she shows up at the fair. Our son, her father, is a big part of her life. This is the second year in a row that she has done this and it has deeply hurt me and my husband. Her mother stepfather and his family think his big. Our son has no spine and there won't be stand up to Amy's mother or stand firm in this situation.

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We tried to talk to Amy. She said that she would bear her stepfather's surname and doesn't what matters is how we feel. We love her very much. Her stepfamily's name is not. more more important than anyone else, but they think it's a big deal.

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After Amy responded to way she did, we told her we would no longer support her at the 4-H fair. She is an impressionable 14 years old. My husband and I agree that we will too stop Amy's birthday and Christmas gifts if she's going to treat us like that. We were raised to respect our family, and this is a slap in the face. face. What should we do? — WE ARE PROUD OF OUR NAME

DEAR PRIDE: You wrote that your son is still an important part of Amy's life. Your granddaughter explained why she definite do this? Could it be as simple as using a name that matches the parents who brought her to the event?

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You allowed yourself to get too carried away by this. The response of not subsidizing Amy's 4-H activities and withholding birthday and Christmas gifts may have been ill-advised and may have driven a lasting wedge that there won't be easy to repair. There needs to be a calmer, more rational debate before we move on to the nuclear program.

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Dear Abby: I do everything for my family. I care about everyone. I also work and earn good money. Now that I older and my children have grown up, I love going on vacation. Problem is, my husband doesn't I want to do something.

My best friend booked a trip for the two of us and I happy to go and enjoy a few days off from “my life” so to speak, but my husband is angry because he Not invited I took time off without him to see our grandson across the country and it was never a problem. We were together 38 years old.

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For the last two years my husband has been sick, but… He things are much better now. I feel like I deserve a break and a mental reset. He says it “hurts” him. He tries to convince me that I won't go, but I told him that I need it for my sanity. Am I wrong for wanting and needing this? — ESCAPE IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR ESCAPE: Caring for a sick husband on top of everything else is stressful. I Glad your husband is doing better and I understand why you might need a break. You stated that he “doesn’t want to do anything”, but he is offended that he there was no included. Tell him that if his desire to travel recovers along with his health, you will be happy to organize a trip for just the two of you. You can afford it, and it may calm his feelings.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jean Phillips, and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips. Contact dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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