If you've ever woken up from a sex dream feeling hot, anxious, or downright confused about what just happened (to your ex, your boss, or some celebrity) while you slept, you're not alone. Sexual dreams are common: in 2019 study Nearly 3,000 adults estimated that 18% of their dreams were erotic. More recently, 2025 study of more than 300 college students found that more than half of them, especially men, reported having had sex dreams.
Sexual dreams may include sexual propositions, kissing, intercourse, masturbation, or other sexual activities.
But they may not mean what you think.
“They may not be related to sex at all, so it's important not to think that there is a one-to-one correspondence between what happened in a dream and what it means,” says Antonio Zadra, professor of psychology and senior researcher at the Center for Advanced Research in Sleep Medicine at the University of Montreal. “Dreams involving sex can be metaphors for intimacy or how we are perceived by others, or they can be about strained relationships or relationship barriers.”
In general, “dreams are often related to our current concerns—what we're thinking about,” says Zadra, and that's true for sex dreams, too. This concept supports the dream continuity hypothesis, which suggests that dream content often reflects aspects of a person's waking life.
One study found that the frequency of erotic dreams may be related to the amount of time a person spends with sexual fantasies while awake. But this is not always the case. In other cases, sex dreams may reflect hidden desires (not necessarily sexual), personal feelings, or a desire to develop as a person in a new way.
Many topics sexy dreams
Certain scenarios often arise in sex dreams. These include sex with an ex, friend, boss, co-worker or celebrity; sex in a public or unusual place; either cheating on your partner, or your partner cheating on you.
Experts say it's a mistake to take these dreams at face value, and there is no universal interpretation of sex dreams.
“Dreams are very specific to a person—they represent important messages from a person's unconscious mind,” says Gary Taub, a clinical psychologist in Eureka Springs, Ark. “They try to help people become more whole. They can show you missing parts of yourself. Sex can be a symbol of bringing different parts of the dreamer together.”
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For example, if you dream about sex with a friend or boss, it could be a sign that you want to have or develop qualities that the other person has, such as compassion or authority, says Taub. Or it could be a desire to connect on an emotional level or gain approval from that person.
If you dream about sex with someone of the same sex and you are heterosexual, this person may represent qualities such as creativity or spirituality that you would like to develop more in yourself.
A dream about masturbation may signal that you are craving more pleasure in your life and want to take steps to get it.
Meanwhile, dreams of cheating on your partner could mean you're trying to grow in a variety of ways, Taub says. In this case, it is worth asking yourself: what parts of myself am I closed off from?
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On the other hand, if you dream that your partner is cheating on you, “you may wake up and feel betrayed,” says Zadra, “and you may take it out on your partner.” But it would be a mistake to assume that this means you suspect your partner is cheating on you: it could signal that you crave more attention from your partner or more intimacy with them, or that some other aspect of the relationship requires your attention.
“Some people look into dream dictionaries to try to interpret their dreams,” says Jeanette Raymond, a clinical psychologist in private practice in Los Angeles who often helps clients interpret their dreams. “This is not the best approach because there is no universal meaning for every symbol” or action in a dream. Instead, meaning usually lies in the eye of the beholder.
Making sense of sexual dreams
Sexual dreams are often quite vivid and memorable. “The fact that you remember this dream means that it may be telling you something important, and it may be related to something that you are not experiencing in your current life,” says Raymond.
The key to interpreting nighttime erotic dramas is to ask yourself about them, starting with how you felt when you woke up. The emotions evoked by a dream can be very telling. “If it was like a comforting dream, it could be a way to reduce the uncertainty that might arise in this relationship in your waking life,” Raymond says.
Zadra, co-author When the Brain Dreams: An Exploration of the Science and Mystery of Sleep, also recommends taking into account how you felt in the dream. Who is this person and how do you feel about him? What does this person represent to you or what qualities or characteristics do you associate with them? What happened in the dream and how did you feel about it?
It is also worth thinking about why you are having this dream right now. How could this be an attempt to show you or tell you something about yourself? “There’s a lot we don’t know about ourselves,” Taub says. “Dreams speak an ancient language of metaphor and symbol—they are trying to communicate something.”
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The truth is that it is often difficult to fully understand dreams on your own, which is why Raymond recommends drawing images from your dreams and/or talking about them with someone else. “Talking to someone about sleep can help you sort things out and connect the dots,” she says.
Ultimately, if you can decipher your erotic dreams, you can use them to better understand yourself or improve your circumstances in some way. “Dreams are amazing messages that help people live more authentic lives,” says Taub. “Every dream has a unique message for the dreamer, it is your context.” This means you have to figure it out.
