DEAR ABBY: Text message to sister ends up in unexpected hands

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Dear Abby: I often write to my older sister. Last month I sent her a long message consisting of information and chatter. To my surprise, it was not she who answered, but her daughter (whom I do not like). My message was not intended for her daughter, and although this information contained was not critical or embarrassing, I am offended that my message was intercepted (and responded to) by someone other than the intended recipient.

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Am I wrong here? Now the whole situation is out of control. proportion and we don't talk anymore. Please advise. — PERSONAL BROTHER IN FLORIDA

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DEAR BROTHER: I find it odd that your niece would respond to her mother's message without being asked to do so. Your sister was offended because she felt that her daughter needed protection? Your next step should be to talk to your sister on the phone so you can TALK about it. Apologize if you “may have overreacted” but consider that this was a warning that when you write, email, or call your sister… there won't be will definitely stay between the two of you. Private communication may need to be personal.

Dear Abby: My husband and I have different approaches to holiday gifts. I like to pick up good things which I find throughout the year with only a rough idea of ​​who they might go to. Then in December I sit down and figure out who might like what and arrange things accordingly. He finds the process disgusting and insists that the only smart way to choose gifts is to shop with a specific person in mind, preferably close to the time the gift is given.

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The problem is that he doesn't do any work to find carefully chosen and tailored gifts for anyone in our family. This job is left to me and I don't have the time or patience to shop the way he wants. Do you agree with him that I'm being frivolous, or is it okay for me to buy in advance as long as everyone has something that fits? — IT'S NOT FUN IN THE Midwest

DEAR NOT MERRY: No, I don't agree with your husband. You do your holiday shopping the way you want. If he would have preferred it be if done differently, let him know that you are willing to back down and let him take over the task. If he actually agree Instead of nagging, relax and support him. And if the gifts this year turn out to be inappropriate, the blame will lie solely with him.

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Dear Abby: For years I talked too much and shared too much. I realized that the problem was me, got treatment and overcame it. From time to time I run into former neighbors, co-workers, etc. who I have told too much in the past. Sometimes they turn away or look at me nervously. I just look away or smile, say hello and keep moving. I can't think of some other way to cope with encounters with other people that have made me uncomfortable in the past. Is this the best thing to do? — CLOSED MOUTH IN NEVADA

DEAR CLOSED MOUTH: Yes, I think you handle an uncomfortable situation as well as could be expected. That you can smile and say hello without talking V This is sufficient proof that you have overcome your problem. If you tried to engage them in further conversation, you would again reveal too much.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jean Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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