DEAR ABBY: Longtime friend feels ignored after woman’s passing

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Dear Abby: My 50 year old friend passed away a few months ago. I sent a fruit basket to her family and tried to call, but I couldn't get through. I couldn't Contact them via email or text message. I also sent a sympathy card. I have not heard anything back from her husband or daughter, who is close to me. She my goddaughter and I have always been involved in her life.

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No one contacted me and told me where they were going to wake her up. Luckily, I found out about it and took part. Her family had tables with photographs, including photos of her as a teenager. There were several photographs of her and another friend of hers from that period on the table, but none of them were of me.

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We did stay friends for many years, seeing each other from time to time, especially when our children were small and more often during her illness. Her illness lasted a year before she died, so I couldn't understand why I was ignored. I'm in a lot of pain and I I wonder if I have the right to feel this way and how I can overcome my feelings. — LEFT IN THE EAST

DEAR LEFT: As you described, you were a long-time friend of this woman when you were all younger, and came back into her life more in the last year of her life. Is it possible that because of the break, her husband and daughter didn't do you realize how close you were? This is the only logical explanation I can come up with why did you seem to be erased from the picture.

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Of course you are entitled to your feelings, but please take comfort in knowing the truth about your friendship because her family it seems too immersed in their own feelings in order to take yours into account.

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Dear Abby: I A 35-year-old man who until now has always been able to help friends in case of loss and changes in life. For context, I am going through the adoption process with placement imminent. I am in constant contact with my college friends; we all talk almost every day.

One of them is just revealed that she had a miscarriage. I'm confused. I want to be there for her while I go through my own process of having children. I can't begin to imagine her feelings of loss and physical pain. I lay down and cried after she told me, grieving for her, her child and her husband. How can I support her? I have no idea how to help her while respecting the rules of etiquette. Please help. — INEPT IN MAINE

DEAR NON-PETIC: You are a compassionate and empathetic person. The loss of your friend comes at a particularly painful time for you. “Rules of etiquette” require sending a condolence card or writing short note expressing his sympathy for her and her husband by calling her to offer any support she might need during this time. difficult time and stay connected while she deals with it.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jean Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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