DEAR ABBY: Longtime couple want a mediator to decide who’s right

Contents of the article

Dear Abby: My husband and I have been married for 56 years. For the last year or so we've been fighting about everything – both big issues and small, insignificant things. There is nothing but quarrels, disagreements and conflicts. We can have a couple of good days and then quarrel over some small issue or an innocent answer or comment from one of us – and within seconds we are quarreling.

Contents of the article

Several serious issues are immediate triggers, but there are also hurt feelings, hurt feelings, and terrible things we've said to each other. I think we still love each other, but I don't think we like each other very much.

Contents of the article

Contents of the article

We both feel that we need a mediator, someone who will listen to both sides and make a decision about whose position is more valid. We tried to find him rather than a therapist or marriage counselor. We did some research only to find therapists who specialized in addiction, young couples, and troubled families, all of whom were younger than our adult children.

We need someone over 55 years of age, experienced and trained to listen to both sides of an issue, who can be objective without taking sides, and offer us a solution or opinion on how we can resolve the issues peacefully. How do we do this? — WE'RE TRYING TO FIX THIS IN THE WEST

Contents of the article

Contents of the article

DEAR TORTURE: I admire that you two are trying to resolve your marital difficulties and recognize that you need help. You need a marriage and family therapist. Ask your doctor to refer you to people who are licensed and preferably older. Interview a few and see which ones you and your husband feel comfortable talking to. The information you are looking for is within their competence, especially since you are looking for a compromise.

RECOMMENDED VIDEO

We apologize, but this video has failed to load.

Play video

Dear Abby: I'm an older man living next door to a slightly older woman. We live in lakefront homes and enjoy being active on the water together during our retirement years. Recently I was looking out the window and saw an alligator swimming about 50 yards away from me. Alligators are almost unknown in our part of the lake, but they are known to live in the area.

Contents of the article

Should I tell my neighbor that I saw an alligator that will make her so afraid that she may never want to swim again? If she keeps swimming, will she think so much about the danger that I will ruin any remaining joy she gets from being in the water? On the other hand, if I don't tell her, she might put herself in danger. Obviously I'll miss my friend and feel terrible if anything happens to her. Please advise. — VIGILANCE IN TEXAS

DEAR VIGILANT: What's more important? Your neighbor's life or her swimming? If you don't warn her about what you saw and she loses a toe, a foot, an arm, or her life, how will you feel? Please… SPEAK!

PS Do YOU ​​plan to continue swimming where there are alligators? Think! YOU can get bitten too.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jean Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

Contents of the article