If you want people to have something to talk about in the New Year, make it your new communication skills. Almost every aspect of your life will benefit.
“If there's one thing we can do to improve our relationships and even our well-being, it's to improve our communication,” says Meredith Harrigan, a professor of communication at SUNY Geneseo. “However, people tend to think that communication is easier than it really is, or that it’s just something we’re naturally good at rather than something we can practice, develop, and pay attention to.”
With that in mind, we asked experts which habits should be left in the past and why.
Over-reliance on AI
During 2025, something strange happened to our messages: they all started sounding the same. LinkedIn messages, emails and even opening lines on dating apps have become polished but strangely interchangeable, says Audra Nuru, a professor of communication studies and family studies at the University of St. Thomas in St. Paul, Minnesota. “The messages have lost their pulse—it’s impossible to know who is behind the words,” she says. “They read like templates, not like they were written by a real person.”
This is not well received by decision makers. When a message seems automated rather than personal, it can seem distant or even misleading, she said.
Next year, Nuru suggests using tools like ChatGPT as a brainstorming partner rather than a replacement for your own voice. “When everything starts to sound polished and predictable, we lose the little markers that make communication more human,” she says. “We're losing the quirks, the hesitations, the warmth and life experiences that tell someone, 'I'm here with you.'
Leaving people to read
You know when you send someone a message and you can tell they read it, but they don't respond for 12 anxiety-filled hours? Nuru thinks of it as text messages disappearing and says it's time to close the curtains on this habit.
People who leave others on reading mode “turn silence into message,” she says. “We start to wonder if something has changed or if we said the wrong thing, when in reality the other person is just busy or overwhelmed.”
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You don't have to be available all the time, Nuru adds, and it's actually better to set boundaries rather than respond to messages 24/7. However, she recommends sending a short reply: “I saw this and will respond when I can.”
“This keeps the conversation relatively steady, rather than leaving someone guessing what the silence means,” she says. “We can give ourselves the opportunity to respond when we are truly ready, and at the same time let the other person know that they have not been forgotten.”
bread crumbs
This buzzword describes a slow decline in attention that never develops into anything meaningful. Think: random messages suggesting meetings that never happen, or vague messages that don't follow up. Unlike pure ghosting, “it involves sending just enough sporadic messages to keep someone emotionally involved,” Nuru says, “without any real commitment.”
There is just enough warmth to keep hope alive, followed by silence that causes confusion and self-doubt. “It feels like an emotional blow,” she adds. research shows it is even more unpleasant than ghosting because it keeps people in a prolonged state of uncertainty and causes anxiety and a feeling of helplessness.
If you're guilty of not knowing what to do, keep in mind that it's better to be honest with someone than to keep them on hold. “Clarity is kindness, even when it’s uncomfortable,” says Nuru.
Minimizing disturbance to others
When Harrigan talks to college students, she notices that they often engage in the same habit: minimizing. It comes from good intentions. “People don't want to have conflict, they want to help each other solve problems, so they end up saying things like, 'It's not as bad as you think' or 'It's not as important as you think,'” she says. “It downplays the importance to the person, but that doesn’t mean people are trying to do it for nefarious reasons.”
To break this habit, you need to be aware of differences in perception, she adds. Keep in mind that your understanding of the experience is different than someone else's. Before answering a friend, Harrigan suggests harnessing the power of pausing and then asking a question. Instead of immediately offering advice or your opinion, you could ask one of these questions, for example: “Why do you think you are experiencing this the way you are?” or, “Can you explain a little more about what you're thinking about?”
“It reinforces your concern for them and your goal to support them by understanding them better,” she says.
Video calls in public places
When we share information with people that they don't want or haven't asked to hear, we make them “reluctant confidants,” Harrigan says. One common way: FaceTiming in public. “I was in the doctor’s office the other day and I couldn’t believe the person next to me was talking out loud to someone,” she says. “It was very personal.” Not to mention, most people would rather not be an unwitting background actor during someone else's video call.
Read more: 7 polite phrases that are still worth saying
In the coming year, make it a point to be aware of your surroundings, Harrigan adds, and think carefully about whether it's the right thing to do. Really the right place to tell your best friend about that late, late night you had with your date the night before.
Skip the pleasantries
Yes, everyone is busy. But Harrigan implores: Don't skip the quick greeting at the beginning of your message. “People email about work all the time and jump right into the task without even asking for a friendly greeting: “How are you?” or “How was your weekend?” she says. “It makes the interaction feel cold—as if they are only useful to you for the task you are working on.” Adding a friendly greeting is a quick and easy solution, she adds, and it makes a big difference.
SMS trap for your friends
People aren't always upfront about their motives, as you may have learned the hard way. For example, imagine you received a message like this: “Do you have plans for tonight?” Perhaps you assume that the sender of the letter wants to meet for dinner or watch a movie. But when you answer, they tell you that they need to be taken to the airport, and since you are free, you can take them – right?
“You feel trapped,” Harrigan says. Many people think this is an ethical question: is it okay to lie your way out of this? (“Oh, I forgot! I'm actually meeting so-and-so for dinner!”) In 2026, don't put your friends or colleagues in this situation by always being open about your motivations, she says.
Filling all the silence
The sound of silence makes many people uncomfortable. That's why they rush to say something—anything—without even thinking about it. When this happens, people may end up making promises they can't keep or immediately regret their words.
Harrigan's challenge for the coming year is to get used to silence. If you're not sure what to say during a difficult conversation, she suggests acknowledging the following: “I'm pausing because I really don't know what's the best thing to say” or “I want to help and show my support, but I don't know the best way to do it and want to think about it.”
“That kind of honesty can be very valuable in a relationship,” she says.
sackcloth
When someone accumulates a whole series of frustrations, resentments and grievances and then releases them all during an outburst of anger, it is called “burlap.” This unhealthy communication pattern can take a serious toll on relationships, says Jimmy Manning, a professor of communication studies at the University of Nevada, where he is also director of the Relational Communication Research Laboratory.
“If I'm in a relationship and I don't like them chewing with their mouth open but I don't say anything, I throw it in my little bag. Then maybe they'll want to split the bill, even if they ordered two and I didn't, so I throw it in the bag,” he says. “One night they said something rude and I just laid it all out: 'You're such a bad friend – you do this, you do that, you do that.'
The best approach is to focus on immediate and healthy conflict resolution. It's also a good idea to consider whether the things that irritate you actually matter. Manning suggests asking yourself, “Does it matter if they chew with their mouth open? Is it a 'you' problem or a 'them' problem? Because at the end of the day, it probably won't hurt you,” especially if it's coming from a friend or co-worker you don't spend every meal with. “I call it the price of admission,” he says. “Sometimes you have to be willing to put up with things.”
Misdiagnosis of conflict
Manning sees it all the time: young people in particular are diagnosing their peers as narcissists or accuse them of gaslighting or triggering a trauma response. This “talk therapy” is usually inaccurate and is used to “shut down conversations and make accusations that can carry stigma,” he says.
People are especially prone to misdiagnosing conflict. For example, imagine this scenario: “My boyfriend stayed over and now he eats all my food. He's a complete narcissist who eats whatever he wants. When I told him I didn't like him drinking all the milk and eating all the donuts, he gaslighted me and said, 'Well, I buy all the food for us when we go out to eat.' Now every time he walks into the room, I have a traumatic reaction because I I’m afraid he’ll eat my food again.”
Read more: Here's how to tell if you're talking to a narcissist.
“It may all be related to some very serious feelings or tension in the relationship, but it misdiagnoses the conflict,” Manning says. “It stigmatizes mental health language and uses it inappropriately—and most importantly, it will likely escalate the problem.”
Pass off hurtful words as honesty
Honesty is essential in any relationship, but it can also be abused. One way to do this is when people frame harsh words as “just being honest,” releasing frustration without thinking about how those words might be received. “It becomes a cover for harsh remarks,” says Nuru. “Honesty stops feeling like a path to understanding and starts feeling like something that brings more pain than clarity.”
To break this habit, make it a point to slow down and think about what role you hope honesty will play in the conversation. Nuru advises asking yourself questions like: “Does this need to be said? Does it need to be said?” Now? And am I the one who has to say it?” This can help figure out whether a comment will promote positive change and understanding or add tension, she said.
Trying to keep the differences
Caring for someone doesn't mean you have to be on the same page about everything. However, “somewhere along the way, we started to believe that intimacy requires consent,” Nuru says. She often sees people fall into either/or thinking, convinced that only one point of view is correct; everything else is perceived as a threat. This shifts the focus of conversations from trying to understand to trying to win, she said, and people end up defending their positions rather than exploring points of view.
Read more: 11 things to say to a relative whose politics you hate
In 2026, challenge yourself to remain open—this doesn't mean changing your mind, just hearing another point of view within the conversation. You can stay in touch And acknowledge different points of view, says Nuru. “We have nothing to lose by hearing something else,” she adds. “Relationships can contain more than one truth at a time.”
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